Thanksgiving Thoughts

I am thankful for my country with its message of freedom for all
that somehow wormed its way into my head past all my programming
and inspired me

I am thankful for Neil Diamond and his ability to weave into his songs.feelings powerful enough to get past my walls I Am, I Said opened my eyes .

I am thankful for caring therapists who supported me despite the incredible toll it took on them and helped me find myself.

I am thankful for all those who believed my story when I could hardly believe it myself. Their acceptance helped me to accept me.

I am thankful for those who continue to support me despite my flaws. They remind me I am worth caring about.

I am thankful for Arabian horses for infusing passion into my life.

I am thankful for a mortgage that I can actually afford to pay.

I am thankful for the opportunity to put too much food onto the table on the day of Thanksgiving.

I am thankful that at my age I can still work with those horses and chase this dream.

and I am even thankful for blogger without which I wouldn't have found a great circle of new friends.

Gone...........but not forgotten

I was trying to find an old post to link a current post to and in the process I ended up noticing the numbers of posts I've been doing per month here recently. I have to admit I didn't realize that much time had flown by with so little posting. It seems like only yesterday that my life turned upside down. Where did the time go?

I guess it's in the process spent trying to right itself that I have been so immersed I have lost all track of time. I don't feel like I have been away that long. That one day at a time thinking to get myself through has left me months without regular posting as I told myself, "Tomorrow.........it will come tomorrow." And yet the words just didn't come.

It's taking all I have to try to keep my life on track. Yet I miss the connection. I miss knowing what's going on with each and every one of you............and I miss the introspection that many of my posts have triggered in me.

I appreciate the connection that I feel in doing that kind of "inner work." That feeling that at least I'm a part of something and I fit in somewhere with this crazy life of mine.

Lately I just feel like I hanging out on a limb somewhere totally alone. I'm not connected to anyone or anything..............well except the horses. They are keeping me sane. But I've had to keep myself totally focused on them to feel like I have any control in my life at all. That is so physically exhausting that I can hardly think to post. Yet it works..........so for now that's what I must do.

If it wasn't for this sleepless night because of a decision I made about my horses, I wouldn't even be posting now. This is the second post I've written for this blog tonight. Touching base feels good.............Who thought one could appreciate a sleepless night? Or that it could have any kind of benefit? Funny how things work sometimes.........................