Then there is the issue of "family." Boy, that's another loaded subject. I have all kinds of questions about family.
Just what IS family? Then, what IS my family? Can someone like me ever expect a "normal" family? Can I be happy without a "normal family?"
Or does my abuse so separate me from others I will never feel like I fit in no matter how hard I try? Is that really at the root of all my "family" issues.
I think around the holidays these issues get shoved up to the forefront. There are all kinds of reminders of "family" everywhere one turns. I find myself measuring my family against those and I see nothing familiar..........With that comes doubting there will ever be that kind of caring within the scope of our familial relationships...............followed by a goodly amount of sadness.
Are these more unreasonable expectations? Are things really fine the way that they are? Are there more questions than answers?
If I could wave a magic wand, everyone would be happy. But what exactly would that mean? Would our relationships be different? Or would they be the same with us ok with them as they are?
Is it about being loved.............or feeling loved?