I seem to have trouble deciding when enough is enough. I can be unhappy in a situation but keep hanging in there for what seems forever and ever. Nothing changes so I go on being unhappy.
I understand that my happiness is up to me but I get caught up in all kinds of things. Depending on the relationships I can tell myself I need to be loyal or maybe my expectations shouldn't be quite so high. Whatever the reason, I convince myself to continue and the hole just seems to get deeper and deeper.
I can also get caught wondering if somehow it's really all about me. Maybe I don't connect with people because I am so flawed, so damaged by my past that I really will never connect. Maybe the longing I have for a connection is a void that will never be filled because I am too guarded to let anyone in.
Granted really don't let just anyone in. I know I am guarded but I do look for people I can trust. Sometimes I find them.......or I think I have only to let them in to have them hurt me or take advantage of me. This leaves me wondering why it always seems to end up this way.
Maybe I am into "All or Nothing" thinking It certainly feels right now like the whole world is untrustworthy even if I know that isn't really the case. Am I somehow playing into this old way of thinking even if it's not obvious? I guess I don't really know.
I chose to live my life believing "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." is a plausible possibility. Yet double standards seem to be more of the norm. I am beginning to wonder if there really are people out there looking out for anyone but themselves.
Maybe that leads me to thinking I really shouldn't put up with anything more. All I know is I am struggling with more than one relationship where I feel I'm getting less that what I bargained for. Trying to figure out where that line might be is exhausting me.
Do you have trouble deciding when enough is enough?