I'm trying to convince my husband to let me take his laptop on this trip. I thought if I could continue posting on my blogs I wouldn't feel so alone. I also thought it would be easier for me to share what's happening in the hear and now than in the past. My memory isn't what it used to be........and that's ok with me.
There is one thing that's happening while I'm in Tulsa that I'm really looking forward to(besides actually showing my horses) that has to do with blogging. One of my blogging friends is coming to the horse show just to see me. I am looking forward to meeting her and really wishing we could spend more time together than just a couple of hours or so.
This online friend quit blogging almost a year ago. I have really missed her yet I've felt connected to her none the less. I've none, despite her silence, she would be there if I really needed her. There has been comfort in that. Now I'm finding comfort in the thought she will be there in Tulsa. She's going to help me find the places I will need to survive will I am there.
Survive probably sounds like a strong term for such things as a laundromat and grocery store. However, I am going to this event the cheapest way possible. I will be sleeping in my horse trailer and eating mostly what I can throw together for myself. I have a cooler and small refrigerator and will take non perishables with me. I will need fresh foods, ice and, of course, clean clothes to get me through the twelve days I am actually in Tulsa.
For me going places I am unfamiliar with can be crippling. I know myself well enough to know despite how bad I might need clean clothes and/or fresh food and ice it could be nearly impossible to get me off the horse show facility if I don't know where I am going. The fear of being lost far outweighs minor things like eating...........
Funny how those old messages can be so strong. Yet I can get myself to travel two thousand miles across unknown territory but won't be able to get myself those few blocks or so to find what I need once I am there. My friend locating those places for me ahead of time will help me get through those messages to what I need.
My biggest obstacle will be getting my clothes washed. I wish I had enough clothes to not have to sit around at a laundromat waiting alone for my clothes to wash and dry. I actually found enough pairs of old jeans I could get by but it is underwear and socks that are my biggest problem. I think I'm still holding out for the possibility of picking up enough to eliminate that need.
The grocery store will probably be easier to get myself to. I can do what I need and head back to where I feel more comfortable. I will work on a routine to accomplish this task that should help. Hopefully the actual store will be close to the horse facility. Distance could put a crimp in my plans.
Normally, I don't think much about my fear of venturing out. I can stay focused on the horses and do what I need. Dave takes care of these other necessary trips for me. I can't even tell you when I was last in a grocery store..........oh, yes I can, it was while I was at a horse show. .........so what the time before than.............and so on. I guess a grocery store two thousand miles from home shouldn't be so intimidating.