As a kid I always got the impression that I wasn't worth much. I guess to be truthful I got the impression that I wasn't worth anything. Even without the satanic cult stuff, my home like was not good. My mother was into appearances and did a good job of hiding the craziness in our house but still managed to convince us kids that we were unwanted and a pain.
There were funny things about my mother that were actually almost normal I think. Or at least I thought they were. With six kids to raise we all got the message that money was tight and it was our fault. At the same time when shopping for clothes my mother always had to have the very best. Her line was something like "You get what you pay for. If it's not good quality it will cost you in the end." That kind of stuff. So even for us she always bought good quality but it had to be practical and really last. She didn't want to have to spend anymore money on us than necessary.
That message of "practical" has stayed with me long past any of her other old messages. After therapy I pretty much threw out all of the old family rules except that one. "Practical" has carried me through a lot. It hasn't really hurt me but then it hasn't really allowed me to "bloom" either......if you know what I mean.
Dressing practically means buying things that will "work" many ways in a wardrobe. For me that has always translated not just to style but to color as well. Black has been a staple of my wardrobe and color..........not so much. Not that I don't love color but that I haven't used it in my wardrobe.....well at least on anything expensive. It's one thing to buy a brightly colored tee shirt another to buy a brightly colored coat.
To be honest, I am very comfortable in black. It is a color that looks good on me. When I'm not wearing jeans, you can bet I'll probably be sporting black slacks and some kind of sweater or a blouse. Occasionally I buy blouses or sweaters that are colorful......but not often. I usually stick to the practical gray, white or black..........get the picture.
So why am I posting about this right now? Well, to be honest again, it has been ok but not great. I love RED and while I've allowed myself that red blouse along the way, I've walked by lots of red items in my lifetime that I would have loved to own but didn't because they were NOT practical. I've bought whatever was more practical. Then I've always longed for the red one whenever I've looked at or worn the item. It's always been there telling me I really wasn't true to me.........
Well, you'll never believe what I did before Christmas. I saw a beautiful red wool coat when I was shopping for "something comfortable" to wear to my surgery (per instructions on my instruction sheet). I don't own a nice coat to wear when going out wearing slacks or jeans.......just my barn style coats. This coat was perfect for me.
I indulged myself by just trying the coat on.............despite Dave's protestations. It fit perfectly.......but it was expensive. Still I went to find Dave telling him this coat was something I'd like to have maybe for Christmas. I told him I'd love it in red but wimped out and said it would be more practical to have it in black. I also told him it was toooo expensive but maybe with the economy like it was it would go down in price enough I could have one.
For Christmas I received that RED coat! My husband had gone back the very next day to find them on sale for half price. All of the dozen red coats were gone except 2...........1 of them was my size. Despite urges to take the coat back because it was not practical (something I have done many times before), I kept that coat. I actually wore it yesterday for the first time.
I can't even explain how good it felt to put on that RED coat and know I deserved it whether it was practical or not. Just thinking about it makes me smile. I love that coat! And I feel good in it!
I never would have gotten this much enjoyment out of a black one. I would have always looked at it like all the other black things I'd bought to be practical instead of red and wished for the RED one. I only wish it hadn't taken me this long to figure out that practical isn't always a good thing.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
Fabulous! I'm so glad you got the red one.
can you see our blog and see if you can write a blog a few people ahve asked for your opinion
we only buy second hand clothing and usually do the same for our kids because like your mums teaching we were brought up the same "practical", the rules for us in handling new clothes was far too scarily strict so we as adults have opted for second chance clothing its seems for us a safer bet
I am glad your husband bought you the red coat.
And I am glad you are enjoying it so.
Maybe you can put a piccie of it on this post too?
You gotta treat yourself every once in a while. :)
Sounds like the red coat is an excellent treat.
Just because it's red doesn't mean it's not practical. Does it keep you warm, does it make you feel good, do you 'want' to wear it (instead of hanging in the closet unused or months or years)? I figure you'll answer yes lol and that's all that matters. It meets the requirements that a coat should. Just with a little extra pop of color.
AHHH!!! Did someone forget to tell you? RED is the NEW black! Just kidding...but seriously...red is classic and goes with just about everything...especially when "everything" is black, gray, or white...you can wear that coat with anything else you described in your post! I'm glad you got the coat...and that you got it in red.
For us, it's shoes that are hard. For a couple reasons...one of them being very similar to yours. We always wanted patent leather mary janes...never got them, not practical. We also loved and never got clogs...not practical, not supportive, you'll break an ankle wearing them. Sooo...we still don't have patent leather mary janes...but we do have suede ones, and deep red ones (I think the color is called "ox bl**d"). If we ever find patent leather ones that aren't high heals, then we will get them. As for the clogs...we are going to a town nearby in a couple weeks, specifically to go to a Scandinavian store that has clogs from Scandinavia...hand painted with Scandinavian designs...these will be a b-day present to ourself(ves).
re life spcaings :
i remember our convos and yes i can see the parallels very clearly which kind of is a bit spooky, well for me it raises some other questions about how two people other ends of the earth who have never met can have so many parallels, i think ill mull that for a while myself.
The question wasnt mine others asked me to ask you what you thought even though i know what your thoughts are they havent been privvy to those convos between us LOL
Lynn, Thanks, I'm glad I got the red one too. Now I'm wondering what I missed out on with all those previous red things I didn't allow myself. LOL Live and learn...but who knew a red coat could feel soooooo good!
JIP, thanks for pointing this out, I was behind again but I did get caught up. I'm still mulling this subject matter over.
JIP, I'll be glad when you can find your way to something just as special for you as my red coat is for me!
Kahless, yes, I'm glad he bought it too. I will see about pictures. I'm not great at getting that done. Pics with the horses I seem to have mastered but just pics of me.........not so much.
LOC, ya, but I feel like I treat myself as it is because of the horses......so doing something besides that is hard but I sure do love my red coat.
Battle Weary, you are right about that I have a closet full of things that will go with that coat because so much of it is black, grey or white.
I used to not get myself shoes that I wanted either. And I sure did get that whole thing about the patent leather shoes and breaking my ankle over clogs. Funny how those negative messages hang with us.
JIP, Whenever I begin doubting that any of my memories are real, I remember these similarities so many worlds apart. For me it is one of the answers to the validity of this.
Thank goodness for good men. That red coat will take you through a lot for a long time to come. Think of it as your armor.
Good for you! Can we see a picture of the red coat?
Yay! Yay for both of you--you for finally giving in to your inner urges and accepting that you would love the red coat, and to your husband for getting it for you (and at half price, even better!). It's nice to hear that it brings you such pleasure.
Post a Comment