As a kid I always got the impression that I wasn't worth much. I guess to be truthful I got the impression that I wasn't worth anything. Even without the satanic cult stuff, my home like was not good. My mother was into appearances and did a good job of hiding the craziness in our house but still managed to convince us kids that we were unwanted and a pain.
There were funny things about my mother that were actually almost normal I think. Or at least I thought they were. With six kids to raise we all got the message that money was tight and it was our fault. At the same time when shopping for clothes my mother always had to have the very best. Her line was something like "You get what you pay for. If it's not good quality it will cost you in the end." That kind of stuff. So even for us she always bought good quality but it had to be practical and really last. She didn't want to have to spend anymore money on us than necessary.
That message of "practical" has stayed with me long past any of her other old messages. After therapy I pretty much threw out all of the old family rules except that one. "Practical" has carried me through a lot. It hasn't really hurt me but then it hasn't really allowed me to "bloom" either......if you know what I mean.
Dressing practically means buying things that will "work" many ways in a wardrobe. For me that has always translated not just to style but to color as well. Black has been a staple of my wardrobe and color..........not so much. Not that I don't love color but that I haven't used it in my wardrobe.....well at least on anything expensive. It's one thing to buy a brightly colored tee shirt another to buy a brightly colored coat.
To be honest, I am very comfortable in black. It is a color that looks good on me. When I'm not wearing jeans, you can bet I'll probably be sporting black slacks and some kind of sweater or a blouse. Occasionally I buy blouses or sweaters that are colorful......but not often. I usually stick to the practical gray, white or black..........get the picture.
So why am I posting about this right now? Well, to be honest again, it has been ok but not great. I love RED and while I've allowed myself that red blouse along the way, I've walked by lots of red items in my lifetime that I would have loved to own but didn't because they were NOT practical. I've bought whatever was more practical. Then I've always longed for the red one whenever I've looked at or worn the item. It's always been there telling me I really wasn't true to me.........
Well, you'll never believe what I did before Christmas. I saw a beautiful red wool coat when I was shopping for "something comfortable" to wear to my surgery (per instructions on my instruction sheet). I don't own a nice coat to wear when going out wearing slacks or jeans.......just my barn style coats. This coat was perfect for me.
I indulged myself by just trying the coat on.............despite Dave's protestations. It fit perfectly.......but it was expensive. Still I went to find Dave telling him this coat was something I'd like to have maybe for Christmas. I told him I'd love it in red but wimped out and said it would be more practical to have it in black. I also told him it was toooo expensive but maybe with the economy like it was it would go down in price enough I could have one.
For Christmas I received that RED coat! My husband had gone back the very next day to find them on sale for half price. All of the dozen red coats were gone except 2...........1 of them was my size. Despite urges to take the coat back because it was not practical (something I have done many times before), I kept that coat. I actually wore it yesterday for the first time.
I can't even explain how good it felt to put on that RED coat and know I deserved it whether it was practical or not. Just thinking about it makes me smile. I love that coat! And I feel good in it!
I never would have gotten this much enjoyment out of a black one. I would have always looked at it like all the other black things I'd bought to be practical instead of red and wished for the RED one. I only wish it hadn't taken me this long to figure out that practical isn't always a good thing.