After the last post I still have things running around in my head. Sometimes writing helps me sort things out and put them to rest. Then other times. like now, they just sit there still swirling around.
I guess it was reasonable to think that this would be one of those time since things were just all a mush. There were no "theme" or thoughts that made any sense to me......just a bunch of words all jumbled up and not really taking form.
I guess for me the issue is about "love." What is it really? What can you expect from those who "love" you. I guess I'm feeling right now like I have no idea about any of these things.
I would expect someone who loved me to be concerned for my welfare after my surgery, even if it was an out patient procedure. Even if the only results are feeling lousy or hurting for a few days, I would be concerned about anyone I care for.
So what does it mean that my daughter was too busy to check on me? And probably underneath that lies what does anything mean with her lately?
She says she loves me..........but does she? Is that love out of some sense of obligation? Of does she really care? Is it reasonable for me to expect that she might call and check on me? Or more likely to think that maybe she's not capable of loving me any differently than she does?
Am I setting myself up expecting anything from her? Would I just be better off to not count on her for anything?