No one likes to "eat crow." That was my step-father's term for having to 'fess up and admit that you were wrong. It seemed to be reserved for those situations where we had an an opinion about something and then we turned out to be wrong.
Not that it ever happened much with the adults in my family. They were ALWAYS right......just being an adult guaranteed the expectation that they were not to be questioned because they were infallible.
Eating crow had more to do with us kids and belittling us. I guess it was a good way to keep us afraid to go out on that limb and have an opinion other than theirs. Rubbing our faces in our mistakes, making us feel stupid, vulnerable and God only knows what else was so humiliating it killed any desire we had to think for ourselves or express it if we did.
Just like the power struggles in our family made being "right" and "wrong" so important. The fear of being laughed at and ridiculed made it impossible to learn how to deal with making a mistake and taking responsibility for ourselves in any manner. It seemed like just another way of being hurt. There was no value in being responsible, or so we were taught.
Over the years I've learned it's actually very freeing to take responsibility from my mistakes. It's turned out my old expectations of how people will respond does not match what actually happens. Instead of being ridiculed for being "stupid" people seem to appreciate the honesty it takes to "fess up.
Who knew all those years ago this would be the case. While it wouldn't have changed any interactions with my family because I couldn't afford the abuse it would reap, it sure would have made life outside the family much easier. Who knows, maybe I would have learned how to make friends and be accepted.
What brings this subject up today, well, in a figuratively way I guess I'm eating crow on the other blog. I have been "caught" making some assumptions that have turned out not to be true. So far they are little things but with the importance of the subject matter, I have decided to step back, and give the other side a chance to answer some questions before I proceed. I don't want to be eating anymore crow over this issue.
Kahless, if you are wondering if it is safe to read my latest post on the horse blog so you can see how I went about 'fessing up, A Different Sort of Rescue Story - Thoughts it is. The picture I used is one of the horses this series is about pretty much healthy again. I don't talk about specific abuse only what my motives are and what I am trying to achieve.
Interestingly enough, the comments I have posted are supportive of my decision to look for the other side of this issue. There are a couple of comments I haven't posted, not because they are not supportive of me (because they are) but because the way they have been expressed is mean towards the professional horse rescue involved. As much as I believe that people are entitled to their opinions, I think they need to express them appropriately.........but that's probably a whole other post.