Monday, November 17, 2008

Why Do I Do That?

Recently I began working out at a gym. On my first official day there They set me up with one of the trainers for an "intake" done. I thought it was going to be someone showing me around but essentially what she tried to do was convince me that I needed a personal trainer.

This woman was quite negative. She just keep going on and on about how new people must have a trainer. I don't think she said a single positive thing to me about beginning my experience at this gym. Instead she just harped and harped about how inept I would be on my own. Even insinuating that I would cause myself physical harm by not doing things correctly.

I did a good job of standing up for myself on that day. I didn't let her push me into taking her on as a trainer. I felt pretty good about that.

The problem is now each time I see this woman I am uncomfortable. Instead of just going along and doing what I'm doing, I'm afraid that she's looking at me and secretly laughing inside at my stupidity. I just can't shake these feelings. I end of feeling insecure and it's interfering with my work out.

My insecurity at this new endeavor is really showing. I rarely let others intimidate me when I feel like I know what I;m doing. However, other than the few exercises I know on the stability ball and working on the elliptical machine (which I must take a break from if I want to keep my cardio up) I don't have a clue what I'm doing there.

Today she got on the intercom and announced that she's going to be doing some kind of class from now until Christmas. This darn class is about the time I normally come to the gym. That means that I'm not only going to have to deal with her every day but she's probably going to have her dumb class in the area where I do my exercises with the stability ball.

I ended up leaving today before I even got all of my exercises completed. I essentially let this woman drive me out of the gym. I'm really frustrated with the whole situation and wondering how I'm going get what I need done without letting this woman interfere with me again.


jumpinginpuddles said...

does she remind you of someone ?

Rising Rainbow said...

Nope, she doesn't that I am aware of.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

I think some people get a kick out of making us feel insecure! Don't let her stop you from working out!

Anonymous said...

i understand what you mean. i go through that alot with certain aa meetings i go to. but i think with me, it is more like a stand off thing. it bring a few inside to attention and ready to fight for thier spaces. like this is my meeting type of thing how dear you be here lol. i might also add they are alot younger than the body as and hol it alot better then me lol lj

Lady Of Chaos said...

Get an Ipod and listen to music while you're working out. Do your best to ignore her. I get so frustrated with people like that which is one of the reasons I don't go to a gym, I just know I'd run into a least one of them there.

I wish I could help more. I just tend to 'block' people like that out or don't go to that kind of situation to begin with. You're kind of stuck though, so hopefully you figure out a way of dealing with it. :)

Donna said...

This is unacceptable behaviour and I would talk to the gym management about it. You can't be the only person who feels this way, I know I would have a hard time being around this person if that's the way I was treated the first time I was in the facility. You are taking a very positive step in making exercise a ritual, and it should be a safe and comfortable place for you to be. You didn't do anything to yourself!

manker said...

methinks the "real training" got done.. you stood your ground.. you go girl..
gp in montana

Kim said...

First off, I think it's awesome you were able to stand up for yourself, way to go! I wonder if your discomfort is a by-product of your assertiveness with her. ie: were there repurcussions in the past if you stood up for yourself? Maybe it makes you feel vulnerable for a backlash?

On the practical side, I would also mention to a gym owner/manager that the trainer was negative and pushy. Trainers are supposed to motivate people, not attempt to scare them! And also find out if there is another gym employee who can give you a quick lesson on how to use the equipment you're less familiar with.

Good for you for doing something positive for yourself.

Anonymous said...

This is the first time I have stopped by your blog. This post drew me in immediately. Working out in the gym with an exercise partner who knows infinitely more about physical fitness often leaves me feeling exactly this way myself. So, from personal experience:

1) See if there is another who feels less self-conscious about the workout. Have that one go to the gym.

2) Use books and the internet to learn more about physical fitness. You won't become an expert overnight, but going to the gym with the attitude of a self-taught student trying new things in the lab can give you self-confidence.

3) Learn an exercise routine (start to finish) advocated by someone famous. Use it whenever you feel really nervous.

4) Face away from her.

5) Smile or strike up a conversation with her students after or before her class.

6) Consider finding a different gym, maybe one where women don't work out very often. Men in a gym usually leave women alone (they are too busy sizing up the other men).

7) Find a knowledgeable partner. Chat with this person while working out to relax you.

8) Try to find some (any) external validation of your ability to workout on your own. Take a class not connected with the gym. Prepare for and compete in a run or race. Join a community sports team.

9) Remember, she doesn't know everything either!

It really isn't something you can escape from, but you will feel such a huge sense of victory if you just hang in there. Best of luck, off to read some of your other posts.

--Nero Nuri

Kahless said...

I am impressed you venture to a gym.

I would also ask what JIP did...
does this woman remind you of anyone?

Rising Rainbow said...

frazzled farm wife, you can bet I won't let her stop me. I just need a stategy on how I'm going to deal with this.

anonymous, if I had been at this place longer I might feel territorial too...but right now I just feel dumb........about exercising anyway.

lady of chaos, I have a blackberry but don't know how to download tunes yet. My son promised to show me when he is up here to visit during the holidays. I am looking forward to that although I doubt it will help me with this woman.

donna, you may be right about talking to gym management. I may have to look into that. I do know that others don't care for her much although I don't know about details.

manker, I did stand my personal trainer for me. LOL

kim, I don't know about backlash but who knows. I just know I don't like the way I feel when I don't know what I'm doing and she reminds me I don't know what I'm doing yet.

anonymous, thanks for all the suggestions. I will see if some of these work for me.

kahless, I don't know about being impressed. It's been three weeks and I haven't lost a pound.......but I have lost 2 inches off my waist, guess that counts for something. LOL

Kim said...

I'm thinking for what I want to do, for a career, is be a personal trainer, and work with people at a gym (do you think that would be a good job for me? what do you think would be a good job for me?). But not have an attitude like hers. She's not started off well with you, she's not working with you the right way. She needs to be more positive and upbeat. Instead it sounds like she's trying to be forceful and force decisions on you that she thinks you need to do. But your a tough lady, you'll be able to get past this.

If I was here, I'd of said "if you think you ever need a personal trainer, let me know, I can help you/help you get a personal trainer to fir you" and then if you ever got the feeling you need one, you'd get one. But now, your a bit uncomfortable because of that personal trainer.

All I can say to her, is she needs a new strategy to get hired. And not be so pushy and rush you/people into hiring her.

You know whats fun though? is this tae bo video!