Sunday, October 5, 2008

Gone...........but not forgotten

I was trying to find an old post to link a current post to and in the process I ended up noticing the numbers of posts I've been doing per month here recently. I have to admit I didn't realize that much time had flown by with so little posting. It seems like only yesterday that my life turned upside down. Where did the time go?

I guess it's in the process spent trying to right itself that I have been so immersed I have lost all track of time. I don't feel like I have been away that long. That one day at a time thinking to get myself through has left me months without regular posting as I told myself, " will come tomorrow." And yet the words just didn't come.

It's taking all I have to try to keep my life on track. Yet I miss the connection. I miss knowing what's going on with each and every one of you............and I miss the introspection that many of my posts have triggered in me.

I appreciate the connection that I feel in doing that kind of "inner work." That feeling that at least I'm a part of something and I fit in somewhere with this crazy life of mine.

Lately I just feel like I hanging out on a limb somewhere totally alone. I'm not connected to anyone or anything..............well except the horses. They are keeping me sane. But I've had to keep myself totally focused on them to feel like I have any control in my life at all. That is so physically exhausting that I can hardly think to post. Yet it for now that's what I must do.

If it wasn't for this sleepless night because of a decision I made about my horses, I wouldn't even be posting now. This is the second post I've written for this blog tonight. Touching base feels good.............Who thought one could appreciate a sleepless night? Or that it could have any kind of benefit? Funny how things work sometimes.........................


Lily Strange said...

Sometimes I think I post even the stupidest crap that comes to mind because I fear losing what little connections I have to the human world.

keepers said...

consider yourself connected, we and others are here keeping you in our thoughts and prayers, knowing you need people who believe in you as we all do.

peace and blessings


Lynn said...

There are many ways to disconnect, RR. Sadly, I have disconnected, too, and that is where I am right now. I have a few ideas and I need to do something about this very soon. I'll come over and let you know what I end up doing.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

Hang in there!

Kahless said...

Even though you are not much in blogland, I do think of you.

I do however miss your presence. I feel sad about it.

Lady Of Chaos said...

I came by to catch up here...

What can I say. I think of you and your dreams every day. I think of your life and get thankful for mine.

I'm not all that far away, for an ear, a hug, or ???

Hang in there follow your heart and you'll work it all out in the end.