I'm only beginning to realize how really angry I am at my daughter. The more I learn about her using her childhood (that would be me, the multiple mother) to justify her victim behavior the angrier I get. Instead of being responsible for her own behavior or even being angry at the sleaze of a father who molested her, she's blaming me for her life as a victim and I'm d*mn p*ssed off about it. Mad enough I feel like
punching her lights out. It's a good thing I'm not that kind of person.
If you're wondering what she's done now, well, for one saying that nothing they can do to her at the post office could be any worse than what she had to go through with me could be a small part of it. And that would only be one of the slams she's wielded my way.
Of course she hasn't had the guts to say these things to my face. Instead she acts all "I love you" kissy face crap that makes me want to puke. I absolutely hate her dishonesty with herself and with me.
I've been picking up little snippets of the things she's said in conversations at the barn. It seems she's doing a lot of her victim talking there and from the sounds of things a lot of running me down.
Not that I have been a perfect parent, because I haven't. But I've taken responsibility for what I've done and I've changed my behavior...........bigtime! I am a totally different person now and have been for over half of my life, not to mention most of hers. You would think that would count for something.
And to be perfectly honest, a big part of what pisses me off is the crap that she has pulled on me over her life. She was a pain in the *ss teenager. She did drugs. She used to fly into a rage and attack me and she even attempted suicide to punish me. The list goes on from there.
Frankly I'm getting really tired of being the brunt of her attacks. I don't know what I'm going to do about this crap going on at the barn but I'm feeling strongly like I should do something. But then my friends at the barn are pretty sick of it too. I doubt if she realizes that she is on thin ice with them. They really are not happy that she is trying to trash me. The only good thing about this whole thing is I am learning who good friends these people really are.