To do this we have not closed the door on any alter. We never thought to protect one part at the expense of another. We never made an active attempt to stop or start integration. We just worked our process.
We have held the door closed short term on an alter sometimes to have suitable help in place when that alter relinquished her/his secret but we have not denied anyone inside her/his voice. We have accepted the needs of each and every alter and tried to find a healthy way to fill those needs.
Our inner conflicts are only fleeting. Usually they are based in an unheard alter still carrying old messages. Our system holds strong against such messages but has learned to treat the holders of such with the dignity and respect that they have earned. Without them, we would not have survived.
Giving them that honor while still disagreeing with their message, actually helps those parts to see the truth. Healing is usually pretty swift for these parts because our inner sanctuary is united in acceptance and understanding, prepared for any and all secrets from our past. We do not judge ourselves under those old rules.
We still have parts who have endured heinous abuses and carry dark messages, programming and pain who have not told their truths. Those alters are usually content to keep their secrets in the name of protecting the entire system from further pain.
However, should triggering occur to cause any of those parts pain, we feel the need to bring them forth to relinquish their secrets. Also, should any part have information that might help another survivor, that too will be good reason to bring a part to the forefront. We are all in agreement to do so.
Our rule of thumb is no alter shall suffer for the sake of the others and no outside survivors will suffer if we can help. That means if suffering begins, the wounds will be dealt with regardless of the interim pain. We accept that all healing has its own time and we will deal with it.
Living under these terms has brought us to where we are today. We still have many, many rooms within our internal castle. But some of those rooms have been turned into suites. I can't think of any better way to describe what has occurred. The walls separating some parts are no longer there. It was not a conscious decision to end one phase and begin a new. It was just the result of the work, the co-operations that have become our system.
That doesn't mean that two parts have disappeared and a new one has been formed. No one died. No one's uniqueness or endearing characteristics or little quirks were lost. Just the wall separating two parts, protecting them from each other were finally gone because they were no longer necessary. Both parts are still present, together, forever joined. The good, the bad and everything in between with no walls to separate them are now housed in that one suite.
To be continued...........
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did integration