So were did that negative attitude come from? Look at a baby, there is no negative attitude there. They are bouncing happy laughing creatures unless something bad happens to them. They might cry because they are hungry, wet, messy or sleepy but as soon as that need is met, the smiles are back out broader than ever.
OK, so that must mean that this negative attitude is learned behavior. It is not something that is an innate part of us. It is something that we have learned to cope in bad situations.
So why do we hold onto it like we need it to live? Because we are creatures of habit. We are uncomfortable with change. We would rather be miserable than to rock the boat. We don't see that we have choices and we're afraid of confrontation.
Growing up in abusive families, we really didn't have too many choices, certainly we had no good ones. We have learned that if it isn't a good choice then it isn't a choice. And yet that isn't true. The power that knowing we have choices, whether good or bad, enables us to seek change.
Also keep in mind, we had no healthy role models. No one with good coping skills to model more appropriate ways to deal with life. If everything around us in negative, odds are that's what we're going to learn.
So it may not be our fault that we've gotten this negative way of looking at life but that doesn't change the fact it keeps us down. Learning to change to something more positive is going to take time and attention and determination. Just as it took years to get those old rules down pat, it will take lots of time and repetitions to learn to be more positive in our approach.
Life is a process. Hopefully we are growing and changing for the better as we go along its course. But one things for sure, we have to be able to see our negativity before we can have the opportunity to fix it. Life goes much smoother if we can see through our denial and fix those things that need fixing.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did negative thinking