Saturday, January 26, 2008

Negative Thinking

I'm going to switch gears here for a moment because I have another topic I just never seem to get the time to post. Yet I really think it has a direct correlation on all we talk about here. I know that the biggest thing I changed about myself in therapy was my attitude, my negative attitude.

I was definitely one of the "the glass is half empty" kind of people. I could not see the positive in much of anything. I have come to believe that is what really kept me down there in that dark hole. Sure, I had subconscious messages that told me I deserved to be there, but the negative messages I lived by helped to keep me there.

I understand that Negativitis’ cripples the human spirit as described by Chuck Gallozzi on the website Personal Development

So, beware of that insidious disease known as ‘negativitis’ (negative thinking). It is as pervasive as the common cold, but far more damaging. It mutilates, cripples, and corrodes the human spirit. Those infected by it are broken men and women aimlessly plodding along. The dark clouds brooding over them obscure their vision and cause them to become confrontational, apathetic, and cynical. Their lives are like flat champagne, without any sizzle.

These are pretty strong words but they are definitely true. I know from experience that looking for what's good about my day makes for a much better day than complaining about what is bad. That doesn't mean that I don't go over what didn't work, so maybe I can fix it. But it does mean I don't let it get me down.

When life used to knock me down, I would stay down. Feeling like some how this had to do with me was common. Fact is life is just life and sh*t happens. No matter how hard I try, it's still gonna happen. So I no longer expect that things will go smoothly and I no longer think it has to do with me if they don't. I just take it in stride AND am proud of myself that it no longer knocks me down.

People sometimes tell me if it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any. And I used to buy that argument. But now I know that it is totally wrong, my luck is pretty darn good. I have survived the worst that ritualistic abuse and satanism can throw at anyone. I have a child who has survived brain cancer and she is doing quite well. I am living my dream. How darn lucky is that?

I've learned that a negative attitude is self-defeating. There is no way I can be successful or that I'm even going to want to try if I think nothing good will come of it any way. I can't even tell you all of the times that life must have passed me by because I didn't take a risk.

I was so good at excuses. I didn't have enough money, enough time, enough knowledge, you name it. But the fact is that since I've changed my attitude to search for what I DO have to offer instead of what I don't, my life has changed dramatically.

Yes, I am broke all of the time in terms of money. Heck, I own 27 horses and my poor husband is a blue collar worker. I work at home, with the horses. Cash flow can be a problem. But you should see what I look like on paper! It makes me laugh. There are sheiks in the middle east who would kill to have the quality of horses that I do. I need a liscence plate holder that says "My Mercedes Is In The Field!" That is something to be proud of and I am.

The point isn't about horses as much as about happiness. It took me until I was forty to even know that I had a dream. But I didn't let money or anything else negative stop me, I've jumped in with both feet. I don't have to fear failing because failing wouldn't be bad, it would be a learning experience.
I no longer have to worry about looking foolish because other's opinions of me don't matter, what matters is how I feel. I no longer have to act my age because age is just a number. Do you get where I'm going here?

The limitations that "glass is half empty" kind of attitude put upon me kept me crippled and unable to live. I mean really live. Not just go through the motions every day, but bounce out of bed eager to met the new day kind of live.

The opportunities that "glass is half full" kind of attitude give me make it so I can take on the world. The only limitations are nothing more than minor obstacles. I can do anything and I DO! AND so can you!


Kahless said...

I agree.

But then again, actually, I am a naturally and in general an optimistic person. Never know where that comes from. When I am half empty (when depressed) it will only last for relative shortish periods.

My nan said once that of all my family, I had the greatest capacity for happiness. Not sure quite her reasoning for that, but I take it as a nice thing.

I am so glad RR that you found your dream and connection with Arabian horses. That is truly wonderful.

Enola said...

LOL at the "mercedes in the field" comment. My husband and I joke that our retirement is in my mouth (jaw surgery and braces).

I smile when I see your horse pictures. I've always seen horses as strong, independent creatures. I think you have a lot of those characteristics too.

Vi said...

Wow, what a change around, and GOOD FOR YOU for doing it! I've always been the 'glass half full' person, and I'm so happy, you've come through what you had, and see it that way as well.

lovelee said...

Luck... Mikael, your success contains little luck. You are earning your dreams. You deserve them, as does everyone.