In the comment What to Do About Mothers? NVRider said... I have a question about mothers and families that has been rattling around in my head for a while, I hope it's okay to ask.
Maybe it's more about cycles of abuse. I understand that most abusers have been abused themselves in the past. And in the case of ritual abuse, many(all?) parents have been abused/indoctrinated/programmed as children themselves.
I am not sure if there are statistics on abusers being abused as children but I suppose it would be fair to say that many have. As for ritual abuse, some forms of that have been generational while others have not.
My guess is that the split off cult from the Mormon church led by Warren Jeffs that have been in the news for multiple wives and child brides would fall into that category of generational ritualistic abuse. While the Jonestown Massacre many years ago where most killed themselves would certainly classify as ritualistic abuse. That group killed themselves off before they ever got the longevity to be generational in nature. However, my guess is that many of those participants came from families with other forms of abuse.
Certainly in the case of satanism there are families that have been involved with the cult for generations. However, that is not a given for all participants. There are many many victims with no links to older generations. It's probably much more likely victims of incest come from families where the abuse has gone on for generations.
The family rules that set a child up to be molested have a good deal to do with who is and isn't victimized as a child. A victim may get free of a situation but without help to identify why and how it happened and to make big changes in their values and lives can lead to having their children victimized as well. Even though that may be the last thing that victim would ever want, seeing the world by those old family rules leaves an individual lacking in the skills to protect their children and their children lacking in the skills to stand up for themselves.
This would be a major contributor to that cycle of abuse that gets mentioned so often but rarely explained! Many victims think by speaking up that breaks the cycle, but it is only the first step in breaking that cycle. Sometimes it takes generations to make the changes necessary to protect children from abuse.
As I understand it, these questions have to do with the form of abuse that I suffered as a child, satanism. So I'm going to answer specifically to that abuse here.
Q: Why do some people break free, while some never do?
A: I think this is probably the $64,000 question. But my best guess is that is somehow has to do with hope. Despite all they have been through, they still hold onto the hope that things could be better or that all people aren't bad.
Q: What is it about the people that escape the programming and do not go on to abuse their own children that is different from the majority?
A: First off, I'm not sure that an escape from the programming is what is at play here. We are all different and we all perceive situations differently so there is some variance in how victims will react to programming. The systems of multiples being so different from one another, shows how different the perceptions can be. However, children in satanic cults are powerless to affect change in childhood. They have been tricked into believing that they are trapped. I've never heard of another victim who has escaped as a child.
As adults, I think that those who are trying to get free, have somehow been exposed to information that makes them believe that freedom might be possible. Without that exposure, they would never buck their programming.
I think professionals believe that some kind of crisis pushes victims into therapy. From there if the victim is fortunate enough to stumble across a therapist who has the skills to identify what is at the root of their problems, then the victim has the opportunity to challenge his/her programming.
Q: Is it something in the people themselves? Or a breakdown in the abuse programming process?
A: Again I"ll say I don't think that a breakdown in the abuse programming is responsible for victims seeking to get free or being successful in those attempts. Clearly, there must be something that happens that challenges the beliefs formed as children for the process to even begin,
Q: Why can some people separate themselves from the cycle of abuse, but others go on to torture their own children?
A: While this might be far out, I think this has to do with the instinct of mothers. I believe that regardless of their history there are mothers who still have managed to fiercely hold onto the instinct to protect their children. Those mothers may believe that they themselves deserve whatever treatment they are receiving but they refuse to believe the same thing of their children. Those mothers will fight everything, including their programming to protect their children.
Then there are those mothers who never had that instinct in the first place. Those mothers are probably sociopaths who have no empathy and no regard for anyone but themselves Their children have no value except in regards to how they can be used to make things better for the parent. There's no way such a parent would risk personal injury or even emotional pain for their child.
My guess is that there are mothers in between those two extremes. That would allow for the different degrees along the continuum from the mothers who abuse the kids themselves, to the ones who turn their children over for someone else to abuse them or those who don't see that their children are being abused.
How victims of satanism manage to get free of it's hold over them probably comes down to more luck than sense. Something gets the system functioning out of control whether it be from internal conflicts arising over the need to protect a child or a tv talk show they just happened to watch, who knows.
But from there finding the right therapist isn't an easy task. Many have been abused by the mental health system and yet some still struggle through to find help. Then surviving the deprogramming process in itself is a monumental task. Keep in mind that the cult will pull out all the stops to keep that person quiet! Yet some people do not give up. They keep on trying to get free.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did Jonestown Massacre Warren Jeff