Friday, October 26, 2007

For Fallen Angels and Sacrificial Lambs Everywhere

*Note This post has explicit or graphic content.

Fallen Angels asked in a comment on my post, Halloween from a Cult Survivor if I would read a blog post, My Nightmare, she made two years ago. I believe from her request that Fallen Angels is struggling with accepting this as a memory and hoping it is "nothing more" than a nightmare.

I commented on that post, that what she portrayed was not just familiar to me but to others as well. Then I clarified that by others I didn't mean others inside me but other survivors of ritualistic abuse. I know a lot about survivors and their stories. It is part of what helped me to heal.

Specifically, I have had personal contact with four survivors, three in therapeutic situations and one I met at a town hall meeting on childhood abuse. In addition I have worked with a cult deprogrammer and others involved with ritual abuse victims and survivors. During the time I was working on healing from my abuse I was quite active in finding information to help me better understand the horrific events I was remembering and for validation, just like Fallen Angels is seeking now.

During that process, I encountered several individuals who were at the forefront of the disclosure of ritualistic abuse at the time. They appeared on talk shows and at seminars and meetings around the country. Those people considered me to be THE most knowledgeable survivor they had encountered. These "experts" told me personally, that I was far more knowledgeable than they were. My story filled in the blanks and gave them a thorough understanding of something that had only been bits and pieces.

With that being said, I will tell you what I know about the programming that is done to the victims as how it relates to Fallen Angels post and to my story. First, let me explain that the programming is a necessary part of this abuse.

In order for the perpetrators to go undetected they must be guaranteed of total silence from their victims. There is no way they could continue to do what they do, if there victims would go home and tell the neighbors, clergy, anyone. So to insure this silence the offenders engage in a complete and consistent form or brain washing or mind control.

Some experts even believe that it is part of the goal of this programming to produce multiple personality disorder (now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) in the victims. Because MPD or DID insures the memories will be locked away from the consciousness and still guide the victim's life and decisions, it is an effective cloak of silence. Those memories and programming will be readily accessible to the cult with pre-set triggers so they can access on demand the personality they wish to employ while still protecting their secrets.

Multiples even today are rarely diagnosed correctly. They are commonly misdiagnosed as schizophrenic or bi polar and others. Most are drugged and many spend long periods of time in mental institutions. Because of these faulty diagnosis, multiples are hardly listened to and even more rarely believed. The stories they tell are considered to be lunacy.

Fallen Angels dream entails specific methods used by cult members to begin the programming process. Repeatedly survivors across the country and even around the world, have relayed stories of being taken from a trusted adult, given over to strangers and being "buried alive" naked in some form or another. The typical age of the child to be indoctrinated would be anywhere between two to seven years of age. Fallen Angels was taken at four. I was taken at age two.

This experience where the child is put into a "grave" or hole is usually the first step in the indoctrination. The child is buried alive or the whole covered over the top and left there alone with no food or water for days. Also part of this assault is to have creepy things crawling on the child. Those things could be anything from bugs, spiders, and worms to snakes. Anything that will trigger abject horror in the child. For Fallen Angels this torture was spiders and other crawling bugs for me it was snakes, hundreds of snakes.

During the time the child is "buried," one of the perpetrators will return from time to time asking if the child wants out. When the answer is "Yes." the child is left in the grave. When the child finally answers "No" she/he is removed from the hole. Usually upon being removed from the hole, the child is given something to drink. It's never described as water. The common belief is that it is a drug of some kind.

There are three subtle things that have happened here that play a huge part in the picture cult programming paints in the victim's mind. The first of these is about opposites. The right answer is the opposite of what a normal person would think it would be. The only way for the child to be removed from the hole was to say she/he wanted to stay in the hole.

This black is white programming is consistent throughout cult programming. It's effects are pervasive. To this day when under duress, I immediately seek to be alone and push all help away. It is a message I hadn't even realized belonged to my past experiences until I was writing this post. The importance of this to the cult, an isolated victim is more vulnerable.

Next is the dichotomy of being buried only to resurrect later from the grave. Satanism is loaded with such opposites to Christianity. Over and over it's teachings are exact opposites to the teachings of Jesus Christ. Many are intended to demean the Savior and honor the dark one. It is signature satanism.

The third part of the programming is that the offender who removes the child from this grave has now become this child's savior. The child may be reminded of that then or later in their programming, "We are the ones who saved you! We are the ones who care about you." It is a powerful and controlling message. Do what I want and I'll save you. Don't and I can make your life a living hell.

To be continued............

Part 2


Fallen Angels said...

Isolating is something I do also. The more stressed/upset/triggered etc I become, the more I pull away from any available help. I think my T is very aware of this though...I often receive "just to check on you" calls when time of year is difficult.

Lady in red said...

thank you for visiting my blog

I have read a couple of your posts and cannot begin to understand what you have been through. I am glad that you are survivng. I shall now read more.

Donna said...

Yes, I do that too, particularly if I am brought to tears over something (which was NOT allowed), I can't stand people wanting to make me feel better. I also never thought of this as being part of my abuse. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

we wish every day we have no knowledge of what you are describing reading your blogs removes our denial yet so much of us wants to stay in the place where this never happened.
We cant stop reading yet afterward wish we didnt because you put us straight back into reality a reality we wish would go away and never be true.

Rising Rainbow said...

Fallen angels, that is good that you know that and where it comes from because then you can start working against that programming.

And good for your T for checking up on you.

Lady in red, thanks for coming.

I am doing more that just surviving here. I am thriving despite my history. That is why I write this blog so that others will know there is hope. It can be done.

Donna, yes, there are so many ways the abuse affects us that we are unaware of. Once we find that out though, we have the power to make changes. That's the good part.

anonymous, I am sorry that you have had to go through this. But you can get free from it. The first step is accepting that it is true.

Cheesemeister said...

This put a chill up my spine. Someone dear to me (unfortunately he committed suicide before he could be helped) had DID. He was initially told that he was schizophrenic. All of the alters avoided mental health professionals like the plague after that. They didn't want to be locked up. The protector personality would describe being locked in a dark place with bugs and spiders and rats and mice. He says he learned to make friends with them. I honestly don't know if this was connected with Satanism, except for the fact that this alter was convinced that he was cursed to be a Satanist. (He really wasn't evil at all, he just talked about having "allegiance to Satan.") The interesting and perhaps truly awful thing is that his father was a minister. I know that his father hit him and locked him in places--he said the storage unit of the apartment building where his family lived, or in the root cellar at the church where his father was a minister. The idea that the father might have been involved in some sort of clandestine nastiness never occurred to me. I suppose I'll never know for sure.
I certainly don't believe that my friend was condemned to any kind of hell. He suffered enough while he lived and outside of a couple of fist fights, he never hurt anybody.