Friday, August 10, 2007

Believe It or Not - Ritualistic Abuse Part 4

Part 1

The psychological damage done by ritualistic abuse seems to be much deeper and more devastating that other forms of abuse. I'm not saying that just because it happened to me.

With all of the group therapies I've done, I've met a lot of victims. And as anyone who participates in group therapy would tell you, there you tend to see people at their most vulnerable. You see them relieving the most traumatic events of their lives.

I've meet victims of about every form of abuse you can think of. Even those victims of other types of abuse like incest, psychological or physical abuse, rape, child molestation etc will tell you that what they have seen from cult survivors made them feel that they could deal with their own issues. The experience of watching and/or supporting a ritual abuse survivor was more intense than anything they have ever encountered and made their own issues seem much more manageable.

As for me personally, I know I was caught in a trap that I just couldn't get free of. I was plagued by garbage feelings. I believed I didn't have the right to breathe, let alone live. There was a deep dark hole that was trying to swallow me up. I struggled on the brink of that hole for most of my life knowing if I ever fell in there would be no saving me.

During the course of my therapy, I went in search of the pieces of my puzzle. Each piece answered a question about why I was like this. With each new discovery, I became that much closer to accepting myself and breaking free from the hold of that deep dark hole.

Night terrors that had haunted me finally went away. The voices in my head got softer and more accepting. Co-operation between my people became easier as each learned the story behind the other.

Along the way, parts of me died. The abuse they suffered was so horrific that they could not even survive the telling. But they gave up their lives for the good of the whole, knowing that once the story was told they were no longer needed. Those of us that were left behind learned from their sacrifice how truly special we are.





3 comments:

jumpinginpuddles said...

and we are in teh middle of the journey you guys have nearly completed.

keepers said...

those that have ceased to be, please always remember them and what they did for all of you who are still here. they helped make it possible and sometimes we forget those who gave themselves for the group.

peace and blessings

keepers

Rochelle said...

I stumbled across your blog following a comment you posted. I was abused for six years and still deal with its effects. I just wanted to thank you for talking about this stuff. For too long this stuff is swept under the rug because it is uncomfortable. I'll be back.