Thursday, August 9, 2007

Believe It or Not - Ritualistic Abuse Part 3

Part 1

Yes, it is an inflammatory and controversial subject and many people would rather believe it just isn't true. But I have even more reasons that I believe that my memories are probably accurate. These have to do with my doctor.

The first "hmmm" for me at the doctor's office was with my long time family practitioner. We had about 15 years of history at the time. During a visit I was telling him a little (and I do mean a little) bit about my childhood trauma.

I think I disclosed at the time that I couldn't remember most of my childhood before the age of 7 and very little of it really until I was sent away to a Catholic boarding school. I don't believe at the time I had been diagnosed with MPD. I know I didn't have any real memories at that time, just lots of suspicions about severe trauma, nothing more.

He said it didn't surprise him and told me about a book he had read several years before. He didn't recall the name of the book but gave me enough particulars, a young girl from Vancouver Island, I believe with severe abuse. He said at the time he read that book, it had reminded him of me.

I'm not sure when it was that I was reading Michelle Remembers co-written by Dr Lawrence Pazder but not long into it I realized that this had been the book my doctor had described that reminded him of me. This book was the first written on the controversial subject of Satanic ritual abuse. To this day I still wonder why he suspected long before anyone else that I was a victim of this bizarre abuse.

Then on another visit I went to my doctor for an injury. I gave the radiologist my medical history as dictated by these memories. That history was an assortment of injuries as the result of torture. They included multiple dislocations of my hip, knee and ankle joints which were x-rayed because the the presenting issue.

Once those x-rays were processed, I asked the doctor about his response to them. He had seemed almost disconcerted while going over them. His response to me was my x-rays were consistent with my history. I had enlarged joint openings as well as the other indications of previously dislocated joints. Also, those injuries appeared to be more severe than a "normal" single dislocation would present.

My feet have also been x-rayed over the years with horses stepping on them. Those x-rays too support my history. I have all of the signs of multiple broken bones and dislocations in both feet.

That is as close as I come to physical proof that I was tortured as a child. But there were also what I should probably call psychological things about me that are explained by the torture.

To be continued........

Part 4


Kahless said...

I have been reading your last few posts on your blog.

I agree with you and don't beleive in false memory syndrome. As you rightly said, those screaming the loudest about victims being liars were the victimizers themselves.

Keep uu the good stuff.

keepers said...

we are so sorry for what you have had to endure. every time we hear what someone has had to go through, it just makes us wonder how some people can be so...evil. that is the only word we can use, evil.

peace and blessings


jumpinginpuddles said...

we also have evidence the same we always hope it lies but it never does