Many months ago I found "that box" that help all my journals and artwork from the days of my intense therapy. While I needed to locate it if I am ever to begin writing that book, opening the box up has been like joining Pandora. Those old wounds are not far enough away to escape the memories wanting to spill over into the daylight. The contents so emotional some are too personal to be shared here.
While I understand all of those things might be helpful to those trying to heal from such nightmares, part of my concern has always been some freak might discover it and misuse the material. I began thinking about building a private blog as a way to make the work available without making myself anymore vulnerable than I already have.
I have finally gotten around to building that private blog. I have marked it as containing "adult content" as well. I want my readers to know some times information there will probably be shocking and even triggering to some.
I would think that some of my artwork might even be considered to be pornographic material in the wrong hands since there is nothing symbolic about my artwork. I'm afraid it is quite graphic......... but it is what happened to me.
That straight forward approach is what worked for me in my therapy process. It is how the memories came to me.......... as the utensil in my hand formed them on paper, whether in the form of poetry or paintings. Little if any emotion came with those discoveries. Those things only arrived in the safety of a therapy setting when the part who had endured such abuse would surface to claim her story.
I have made my first post to that blog. It is not, however, anything from the old box. It is, however, a vulnerabilty I didn't realize I had. Anyone wishing an invite to read the private blog please email for an invite.