I've been thinking about this post since I got home from my trip to Tulsa. I knew when I left that I would be gone over Halloween. How that would affect me, I really didn't know but I was willing to go anyway.
Most of the time I was gone I really didn't think much about Halloween either despite the fact that some of the stall decorations had incorporated the usual Halloween type themes. Then there were those candy dishes filled with trick or treat fare but mostly I just tuned it out and went about my business at the show.........which was taking care of my horses.
I don't post about the supernatural side of my abuse often. Mostly that's probably because of my own discomfort. I know that some will think I'm crazy and that's ok but I also know there are those who will believe. The problem really is probably that I would really rather not believe........but I know too much not too.........so it's just easier not to think about it.
It wasn't until late Halloween night that I paused at all to think about this holiday and its effects on me. I was walking up towards the arenas when "it" happened. The problem I've been having is how am I going to explain "it."
Finding the right word to label this supernatural being that swooped by me and then disappeared in the darkness only to be followed by a second and a third. It was over in an instant. I took brief note of it and then went back to what I was doing content in the belief that I was safe despite this attempt to get my attention.
I saw these beings again. It was only my drive home and actually it happened a couple of times. Both instances were in the late late night.....during the witching hour. As these beings swooped down in front of my truck and off into the darkness, their numbers has grown. Now I was encountering dozens of them. Their movements were meant to intimidate me yet I always knew I was safe. The experiences were disturbing to say the least.
I realize my description of these events is scant. It's hard to describe supernatural events in human terms. Then Friday night as I watched Ghost Whisperer I saw a human interpretation of these beings. On the show they called them shadow people. It's not the name that stuck with me but the picture they used to portray them.
While that portrayal was limited by the confines of the human imagination and computer wizardry, the form they used was close to what I experienced. The beings on television had solid lines to their form, the supernatural beings do not. The forms, however, were the same. Their essence is not restricted in that manner. It bleeds off into the world around them.
After these experiences I find myself wondering, "Why now?" It's been a long time sine I worked through this stuff and even longer since I left the cult community. Clearly I am in their radar for something...........or this never would have happened.