OK, I must admit, I have not been honest. Something big happened at the Region 4 Championships and it's eating at me. My daughter attacked me. Well, it felt like she attacked me anyway. She spoke to me like I was one of her children. She talked down to me in a scolding voice telling me to "back off." That translates to "shut up."
It was over something that should have not been important to her. I needed help. The help I was looking for had gone for coffee, which had taken almost two hours the day before, so I wanted to get other help not trusting they would get back in time. She was offended that I was not accepting her suggestion they would be back on time so she told me to "knock it off" among other things.
This was amongst all of the people at our barn. My daughter was cooking breakfast in front of the stalls and people were milling around AND scurrying to get two of my horses ready for their classes. The necessary preparations for these horses had not been done ahead of time like they should. I was frantic.
Getting horses into the ring turned out properly is really important to my business. I have struggled with getting people to consider me seriously and putting improperly turned out horses into the ring wasn't going to help at all. I was frantic for good reason.
Yet my daughter chose to dismiss my concerns AND treat me like I was a "stupid child." Not that I believe children are stupid, but my daughter does sometimes. When she is put out with them she treats hers with no respect, just a blatant misuse of her power. After all.........parents have ALL the power............right? Or they should, as far as my daughter things.
I was appalled at her behavior. I was also embarrassed by it. Public humiliations are one of my worst nightmares. They are a big part of my programming. I will go to great lengths to avoid public confrontations. It's necessary for my survival.
Yet here I was with my daughter treating me very disrespectfully in front of a group of people who have come to be important to me. Not only that, it was at a horse show. I know I've posted on here a lot about how important horses are to my survival. Anything threatening what I do with them, really threatens my life. My life was definitely threatened at Region 4. I am just beginning to see the ramifications of that.