If you're wondering how my birthday went, I told everybody here off. Well, not everybody "here" as in everywhere but certainly "here" as in my household. The two people I live with my daughter, Lindsay, and husband, Dave, got both barrels around dinner time.
By then, my husband had said "Happy Birthday" to me over the phone at somewhere around 4:30 in the afternoon. Even though he had seen me early in the morning. Lindsay I had seen several times throughout the day and she hadn't thought of it either. To say I was seething by then would have been a gross understatement.
While they have always been very nonchalant about my birthday, that had at least included acknowledging the day, if not much else. And Lindsay, is huge on buying gifts for everyone in the family, even shirt tail relatives if she should happen to remember their special day, but me, not so much.
I don't know why their behavior particularly set me off on this day over other birthdays in the past. Maybe it was the fact that my friend, Richard, was all excited about my birthday. He greeted me with birthday wishes at the gym at 5 am and still proceeded to talk about my birthday ALL day long as we worked horses. He made sure that everyone he talked to knew it was my birthday too. It was clear my birthday was important to him.
I couldn't help but think what in the heck is up with my family. It's not like birthdays are not important to them. Heck, Lindsay puts her wish list for birthday presents up on the fridge weeks in advance so we'll know what to buy. And my husband never forgets the birthdays of anyone in his family. He's always calling them on their birthdays to talk with them and his mother he usually always gets a gift with no prodding or reminding from me.
So I guess there are valid reasons I feel slighted by their behavior. It seems to me that birthdays are important to them except for mine. Who wouldn't feel slighted by such behavior from those who are supposed to "love" them?
Then the thing that really gets me about Dave, he always has excuses "why" I don't get a gift. Of course, those excuses always have to do with money but you can bet money doesn't stop him from getting what he wants.
Thirty some years of mismanaging the family's money there's sure to always be a good excuse about why there's not money for a gift. He won't accept input from me on how to budget so money is there for things we need, let alone want because he doesn't want to give up on those little things on which he fritters away the money. Spending money how he sees fit makes him feel good and I'm pretty much sick of feeling like an after thought with him.
So I told them both what I think about the situation. And, as expected, both of them had excuses for not even remembering to say those two words to me. I'm not sure if it'll change a thing for them, but I'm thinking it's going to change things for me. From now on I'm going to make birthday plans with my friends and leave my family at home. Just because it is not special to them does not mean it doesn't have to be special to me.