Sunday, February 22, 2009

More on My Birthday

If you're wondering how my birthday went, I told everybody here off. Well, not everybody "here" as in everywhere but certainly "here" as in my household. The two people I live with my daughter, Lindsay, and husband, Dave, got both barrels around dinner time.

By then, my husband had said "Happy Birthday" to me over the phone at somewhere around 4:30 in the afternoon. Even though he had seen me early in the morning. Lindsay I had seen several times throughout the day and she hadn't thought of it either. To say I was seething by then would have been a gross understatement.

While they have always been very nonchalant about my birthday, that had at least included acknowledging the day, if not much else. And Lindsay, is huge on buying gifts for everyone in the family, even shirt tail relatives if she should happen to remember their special day, but me, not so much.

I don't know why their behavior particularly set me off on this day over other birthdays in the past. Maybe it was the fact that my friend, Richard, was all excited about my birthday. He greeted me with birthday wishes at the gym at 5 am and still proceeded to talk about my birthday ALL day long as we worked horses. He made sure that everyone he talked to knew it was my birthday too. It was clear my birthday was important to him.

I couldn't help but think what in the heck is up with my family. It's not like birthdays are not important to them. Heck, Lindsay puts her wish list for birthday presents up on the fridge weeks in advance so we'll know what to buy. And my husband never forgets the birthdays of anyone in his family. He's always calling them on their birthdays to talk with them and his mother he usually always gets a gift with no prodding or reminding from me.

So I guess there are valid reasons I feel slighted by their behavior. It seems to me that birthdays are important to them except for mine. Who wouldn't feel slighted by such behavior from those who are supposed to "love" them?

Then the thing that really gets me about Dave, he always has excuses "why" I don't get a gift. Of course, those excuses always have to do with money but you can bet money doesn't stop him from getting what he wants.

Thirty some years of mismanaging the family's money there's sure to always be a good excuse about why there's not money for a gift. He won't accept input from me on how to budget so money is there for things we need, let alone want because he doesn't want to give up on those little things on which he fritters away the money. Spending money how he sees fit makes him feel good and I'm pretty much sick of feeling like an after thought with him.

So I told them both what I think about the situation. And, as expected, both of them had excuses for not even remembering to say those two words to me. I'm not sure if it'll change a thing for them, but I'm thinking it's going to change things for me. From now on I'm going to make birthday plans with my friends and leave my family at home. Just because it is not special to them does not mean it doesn't have to be special to me.

6 comments:

Enola said...

Good for you. If you lived closer to me, I'd sure take you out for your birthday. We'd do it up right. Everyone deserves to be treated special on their birthday. I'm sorry that wasn't your experience.

Marj aka Thriver said...

I'm limping along on this wobbly computer here.l Good for you for decding to take matters into your own hands for the hpaiiness of your birthday. I just dont think htere really is any legitimate excuse and I don't blame you for getting mad. Acutally, I'd be worried about you if you were NOT angry.l

I'll try to get the blog carnival hostingt details to you out in an e-mail this week. thanks for being patien.t

Lady Of Chaos said...

Hey, next year, since our birthdays are so close together, we should get together for a day of horsey birthday fun. :)

I'm sorry they were a bit lameo about your day. As close family at least, should be a bit better about it.

Lily Strange said...

I don't blame you. Sometimes it has to be done. People can be so selfish and start taking a person for granted, which sucks.
My son is always lame about my birthday. He doesn't have a job so I don't expect a gift, but a handmade card would mean the world to me. I remind myself that he's just 18 and is basically a good kid. Still, I know I raised him a little better than that. Then again, 18 year olds are generally selfish asses...
My ex husband bought me an inexpensive dinner, which I appreciated.

Kahless said...

Er,
I am not the best. I once failed mrs K on her birthday. She gave it me both barrels.

I have never since. But then my own birthday dont mean much to me.

LaQuisha said...

I had a similar experience! My birthday was March 2nd. Happy Belated Birthday to you... maybe you and I should have celebrated together! :D