Looking at all the stuff from my therapy journey, I can't help but wonder if I really want to get into this or not. Writing the book at this point means digging up things that have been long since buried. Do I really want to do this?
I guess I must because I haven't put the stuff away. The notebook with the first chapter sits right next to the chair where I sit in the evening to relax. Right there where I can't miss it, I'm sure there's a reason for that. There always is.
That's not the only thing that makes me think I have decided although I keep telling myself I haven't. I have a new to me desk that I've just moved into the house. Despite several efforts to do something with that desk, it just sits there bare waiting for the right project. Could that project be my book?
Since it looks like I've made my mind up, I have to figure out where to start. Do I want to just charge right in and write or do I go through the stuff, mull it around and maybe share some of those memories here before I begin to write?
There is some fear about going through this old stuff again.....and maybe some dread. When I try to get started I find myself procrastinating. What do I do? What do I do............?
Yet, last night when I went to bed, the words flowed through my head. The beginnings of a chapter longing to be written were so vivid and clear I thought I would never forget. However, I should have gotten out of bed and begun because, obviously, I did forget or I wouldn't be mentioning it here. Those words were so dramatic I was sure they were etched in my memory........etched like those images of long ago. Yet here I am.....wondering what those words were........to no avail.
Also I'm trying to decide is what to do about my paintings. They are such an important part of my story I think it would be helpful for some to see........but only if they want. The pictures are graphic........very graphic. I'm thinking I don't want to post them here but instead make up a private blog for them. Anyone wanting to see them will have to contact me. That way I won't have to worry about some perv misusing them. What do you think?