Tuesday, December 2, 2008


Tomorrow morning I am scheduled for an outpatient surgery. What it is isn't as important as the effect it is having on me. Ever since it has been scheduled I have been stressed out to the max.

There are a couple of reasons for this stress. The first is I am told that this is a very painful procedure. The surgeon actually suggested to my husband that he might want to check into a motel for a couple of weeks while I recuperate. That was his way of saying how miserable I am going to be. I doubt that anyone would feel comfortable waiting to find out exactly what that means.

Then there is that old issue of trust. How does someone like me trust that I can be under anesthesia and come out the other side ok. So many times I was told this was one of the ways they could get me and no one would ever know. Those old voices are having a field day in my head.

As if that isn't enough, there is the possibility that someone, besides the cult, could do something bad to me while I am vulnerable. It's not the usual thing that happens to people when they have surgery, but crap like that does happen.

I feel like I am facing some weird kind of double jeopardy. On one hand I can't wait for the waiting to be over. On the other, I am terrified of reaching the other side. I doubt that sleep will come easily tonight.


Astaryth said...

I personally dislike Doctors and hospitals. I avoid them. And when, due to circumstances, am forced to deal with them I do so dragging my feet. I understand that this is going to be difficult for you and I just want you to know that I will be thinking about you and sending positive vibes your way.

I'm sorry that you are looking forward to a painful recovery period. That just sucks that you already know going in it is going to be painful! Yuch!

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

I hope it all went well for you and that you are recovering as pain free as possible! {{HUGS}}

Enola said...

(((Hugs))) I'll be thinking of you and praying for you.

Kahless said...

Bloody hell; please keep us updated as much as you can.

Thinking of you much.
Hope all goes well.