Saturday, December 27, 2008

Out of the Mouths of Babes..........

I've never done this before but think nows a good time to start. Here's a bit of humor I received today. We all need to have a bit of humor in our lives.

While the sender wrote

What a great way to start the day, even if you are not a grandparent these are precious....
my thoughts were more along the lines of how cool, little ones not afraid to speak their mind with grandparents who actually appreciated the utterings of normal, happy children. How refreshing is that? So with my two cents worth on the subject on to the sweet utterances of children to their grandparents......

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She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!'

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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.'
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'

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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'

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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like:
'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire;
it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony.
We picked wild raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in.
At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'

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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
' Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?'
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, 'No, how are we alike?'
'You're both old,' he replied.

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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor.
She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked.
'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.'

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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet,
so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was.
She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.
At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'

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When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,
we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use, Grandpa.
The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'

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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, 'I'm not sure.'
'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'mine says I'm four to six.'

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A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.'
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?'
'It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'

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Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.'
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked.
'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'

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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon
full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child.
'No,' said another, 'he's just for good luck.'
A third child brought the argument to a close.
'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants'

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I can't help myself but read these and feel the urge to illustrate them. Giggles run through my head at the thougts this conjure! So which one is your favorite?

6 comments:

jumpinginpuddles said...

ohh the toilet paper good bye we hilarious,
have a awesome new year, we have a year in review sitting on our blog if you want to read it :)

Kahless said...

My fave is the age in your underpants!

Donna said...

I loved the second one because it reminded me of my step-grandson, he was 3 when this happened. The day he met his great-grandmother for the first time he sat and looked at her for a very long time, studying her white hair and her wrinkles, I'm sure he had never seen someone who looked like her, she's 88. Finally he said, with no malice or judgement whatsoever, just a fact: Grandma, you're really old. We all burst out laughing and she said, Yes, I am!

Ethereal Highway said...

I like the age in the underpants, too. Good ones, RR!

Ethereal Highway said...

I've got one for you. My littlest was two or three and she was looking at a large aquarium in the doctor's office. She stood there and rubbed her tummy and said, "Ooh. Yummy fishies!"

Kids crack me up.

Enola said...

Ditto what Kahless said - the age in your underwear cracks me up.