With the recent accident of my daughter, Lindsay, I found myself in the situation of having to deal with the hospital chaplain. I guess I can understand why that would be a given for a trauma such as Lindsay's. But with just the mention of his title, I found myself cringing.
How am I to tell this man who thinks that he knows God that I don't need his assistance to pray. I am secure in my beliefs and I know how to pray in the way that works for me.......and yet telling someone that seems to just open the door for more of "their kind of knowledge of God." I've found that few will ever really understand or know the relationship that I have with Him.
A voice from within says that "Yes, God was there.....God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost......united together in the triangle around this child protecting her from this evil. It couldn't have happened any other way that she could be saved from the clutches of such evil.
The evil one dared to grab the child from the altar and while he tossed her aside like garbage onto the ground, he cried out in pain as his hand was seared. The molten flesh was falling in huge drips onto the floor as evil touched the pure innocence of God that shielded her. How do you explain that to someone?
Did she understand that God, Himself, had come to save her? Probably not but someone inside clearly did. The child knew that she could trust in God or she never would have had the courage to call out His name. Although I doubt that she knew He would actually save her when she did so. I think she thought she would go to Him when they killed her.
Regardless He was not what they had tried to teach her that He was. This God was good and someday maybe He would find it in His Heart to forgive her. And yet with all of this I find I still struggle with religion and those who are wrapped up tightly in it.
What does this mean in regards to this accident? It means that I do not have to pray with the chaplain the way that would comfort him but make me uncomfortable. I do not have to discuss my spirituality with anyone. The only one I answer to is Him. I can continue on living my life the way that I do and know that it is ok with God.
It means that I can trust that life doesn't happen to me because I am bad. It just happens.