Comtemplations

As I was out in the stall with the newborn foal last night, I got a call from someone who reads this blog sometimes. I have a live webcam on that stall where the mare had her baby.

It's funny how you can do something like post a blog here on the internet or even put up a live webcam and yet forget that the whole world now has access to your life and whatever is visible on the web.That phone call kind of shocked me back into reality for a moment.

It's not just my safety that I think about. Being a horse breeder with a website for my farm, it's pretty easy to locate where I live and my phone number. They call it advertising but in today's world it can mean other things. I know I need to be careful.

But the webcam is easier to forget about. It's up there out of sight in the rafters of my barn. Once I first sign on, I leave my computer running all the time. I don't really have to think about the fact it's there the rest of the time. I don't even think about who might be watching me when I'm out there. I used to in the beginning which was two years ago. Funny how time has changed that.

What does this have to do with my psyche blog? Well a couple of things came to mind when I got that call. Maybe it's only one thing and they are related but I thought about what people on the other end of that webcam might think.

I thought that in the past I would have been too afraid that someone might thing I didn't do something right, to expose myself like that. I thought that I had on clothes that don't match and an ugly stocking cap to keep me warm because warm is more important than being a fashion statement. I thought about how I used to be such a perfectionist that my life was consumed by my anal need . There was no room for me to follow my dream, I had no energy left.

I thought about how far I've come since those days. I thought about how it's more important for me to pursue my dreams than it is to care what others say. Many people think owning horses is dumb and I could care less. What I know is that horses are good for me. They give me a reason to live. They bring joy into my life like I have never experienced before. Horses make me whole.

I thought about sharing that with you here. Take a look at my new baby. Even if you don't like horses, try to look at her as the joy she means to me. Then think about what dream you might have that can do that for you and chase after it as passionately as you can.

I thought about how this webcam may give up some of my privacy but it is really a gift. It helps me have extra eyes when I need them and it shares the gift that horses are to me with the entire world. I'm not going to worry about my privacy or anyone who might think I look like an old broad with no taste. Because I don't care about those people anymore. If they can't see what a gift horses are to me....and I am to them..........that's their problem. I'm good with this life of mine.

I thought about some of my internet friends who are still searching for this place I have found. I thought that maybe giving them a glimpse of my world might help them find a similar gift of their own. I thought about if I could give you anything at all.........this is what it would be. The peace that comes with finally taking the risk to follow your dream.