No one likes confrontation but victims like it even less. From the time we were small, most victims of childhood abuse have been taught that confrontation will only make matters worse. It's better to hide out, keep our mouth shut or agree than to stand up for ourselves.
Even if we haven't been told we are weak and useless because we aren't successful sticking up for ourselves, we believe it anyway. We take on the responsibility for not being effective because it's too overwhelming to admit that our lives are so out of control. It's easier to feel lousy about ourselves than feel powerless.
As adults we need to deal with life and its twist and turns. Part of those abnormalities come in the form of our interactions with other people. Without any skills at successful confrontation we are stuck in a pretty bad place. And just like the child we blame ourselves for being defective instead of recognizing the abuse as the source of our problems.
Most victims I know struggle with their family of origin. The dysfunctional behavior of the family causes so many problems and yet we can't deal with them. The idea of standing up for ourselves puts us right back to that trembling little child in the corner. Unable to speak or sometimes even to think. we avoid and go along with the very relationships that are making us the most miserable.
Sure there's that part of us that longs for family and doesn't want to let go because of that. But mostly it's about not believing we have the strength to survive standing up to them. Only when we can tell ourselves that we are no longer children and don't have to be afraid can we make the moves it will take to be free from the subjugation of abuse.