I don't normally write on this blog about what's going on in my life from day to day. The reason for that is mostly my daily life is consumed with horse stuff and that's what I have the horse blog for. The funny part is I rarely post there about what's going on from day to day, it's usually something from the past as well. I guess I just have much more exciting history than I have going on in the present.
Well, that was true until Valentine's Day. I know I wrote about What Valentine's Day Means to Me - An Anniversary in a series, but that was about Valentine's Day last year and how it changed Valentine's Day this year.
But how the current events of VD this year have affected me were nothing more than a possible event when I began my Valentine's day post. Just as last year it had taken days for the drama to unfold, this year was more of the same. Valentine's Day 2008 had its own little story unfolding. I still don't have it's full impact on my life and may not for a while.
It's funny how that happens sometimes. Life can come along and kick you or throw you a bone, either one, and you won't know until later the extent of that incident. You just have to live each day doing what you can do and waiting to see what happens.
So what happened on Valentine's Day this year that could be as important as what happened on the same day last year? Well, life always trumps death in my opinion. so this is probably more important that last year and hopefully will be another great reason to celebrate Valentine's Day around here. A baby was born.
I knew that my oldest grandson and his girlfriend were expecting another baby. The child was actually due on my birthday, Feb 17. Most of the family had mixed feelings about this blessing.
It is the third child for the girlfriend (both born while she was in high school) and the second one by my grandson. They have been living together on and off for a while and really struggling to support the children that they have. Accidental pregnancies can be disruptive and the relationship was rocky at best. This child would be born into difficult circumstance.
It's one of those things in life I have to remember the Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can and I the wisdom to know the difference. I cannot run my children's or my grandchildren's lives. As much as I know the roads they may be travelling are frought with difficulty, those lives are theirs to live and the mistakes theirs to make. I can only hope and offer guidance so that this child might be unscathed by the challenges presented to this young couple. My heart goes out to them all.
Two days before Valentine's Day things took a turn. I received a distraught call from my daugher. The girlfriend was planning on putting the baby up for adoption without my grandson's permission. She had gone so far as to see a lawyer and make arrangements for the adoption. Labor would be induced on Valentine's Day and she was planning to turn the baby over soon after.
To say the sh*t hit the fan would be a gross understatement. While the girlfriend could not see why this turn of events should affect her relationship with my grandson, he was devestated and felt betrayed. He called his mother wanting to know if he could move back home and bring the soon to be born baby.
There was never a moment's hesitation with my daugher or her husband. She is the mother of all baby lovers, I swear. Where she got that gene, I haven't a clue.
Babies are difficult for me at best. They scare me I think. I love them, but I like them best when someone else is holding them. I look at newborns and think of all the pain they are capable of experiencing in this life and it overwhelms me. The legacy of family is still haunted for me. I worry for them. But back to my daugher's reaction.
Everything that was happening was so confusing. My daughter began to do research on the internet to find out what her son's rights were and what her rights were in regard to this baby. She also began looking for attorneys who specialize in the rights of birth parents and grandparents in contested adoptions. Something odd was going on and she wanted to be prepared.
I had a really bad feeling about this. Something inside me said this was only the beginning. I tried to be supportive but at the same time felt the need to encourage my daughter to be prepared for the worst. I advised her not to be complacent because she knew their rights. People's rights get tromped on all the time. My heart was sinking fast.
To be continued.....................
birth parent rights adoption grandparent adoption rights bad adoption adoption abuses