Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Questions on Grounding Techniques

JIP asked in the comments on More of Kahless's Questions on Feelings and Such just wondering if you could write about good grounding techniques that youve found works for you, keepers a while back did her lot and it was really helpful was wondering if you might be able to do the same? I had to think about this for a while. I think I use them now so automatically that it's not even a conscious effort anymore.

I think to feel grounded I have to feel like I have control. Thinking back on it, I think the tool I find the most useful is The Serenity Prayer -- God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Whenever my life gets in a tail spin, I try to access the situation to see what I have control over and what I don't. If it's not mine to change, I just walk away from it and let go. If it is mine, I look for my options and then make a plan of what and how I'm going to do. Then I get started.

In other words, I examine what is setting me into a spin and decide if it really is MY problem. That means I decide who is responsible. If I am really responsible, then it is my problem and I can affect change. That means I have power over the solution.

If it is not MY problem, then I have to let it go. Trying to control something that is not mine to control in the first place will only cause me and probably those around me grief.

Currently I've been having a problem with my granddaughter, Rachel. I have posted specifics in the series of posts Rachel and Grandma and the Arabian Horse Crash and Burn! There were a lot of things going on here including the involvement of Rachel's mother, my daughter.

Believe me the principles of The Serenity Prayer really helped me sort this situation out. While I can't control Rachel's behavior or that of my daughter, I am responsible for the horse that was harmed. My first responsibility is to the animal. The horse is dependant upon me for his well being.

Trying to come to a solution that would protect my horse and hopefully not destroy my relationships with my family was like walking a tight rope. As I have posted in My Children - A Little History - A Little Insight my children have some unresolved issues that affect their every day lives. I know that those issues played a big role in this problem.

Reading through the series of posts, you can see my thought process as I tried to resolve this conflict in my life. How I identified my problems and how I decided to handle them. While the problem on the surface may be about horses, the real story is about family relationships. And I think the process I worked through is a good example of how I deal with all of the problems in my life.

To be continued...............


Kahless said...

I am going to have a go at trying your technique! Its just a simple prayer but boy hard to enact I reckon!

jumpinginpuddles said...

this was atiemly blog for whats going on in our life right now thanks for thaking the time to do it

Rising Rainbow said...

kahless, it is hard to enact. Determining what you have control over and what you don't is the real task. From there it's all much easier.

jip, I really messed up on this, I should have started it sooner so I could finish this series before I started the Valentine's one. My timing was definitely off. But I will finish this soon, I promise.