On my post, Mass Murders Close to Home Lynn from Spilling Ink in Public made a comment that started off I think that the only way for it to end is for people to simultaneously take seriously the complaints these people have against their families while speaking out against the killings. I have to admit that my first reaction to this was to bristle up and get defensive. Probably because this particular crime happened so close to home. But I backed up and took my time and really tried to understand what Lynn was saying. There are things in what she said that have merit.
If more people were listened to and had someplace to be taken seriously, perhaps there would be less violence. For all the big talk in this country, we really have not made many inroads toward the compassionate acceptance of the complaints of young people, ESPECIALLY when those complaints are against family members.
I do believe that victims need to be supported and listened to. If we, as a society, paid more attentions to victims and their treatment, there would likely be less trouble in the world.
Personally, I think that abuse among family members is accepted much more today within law enforcement than it ever has been. However, the social services and the schools seem to not see what is right in front of them sometimes.
But even when abuse is seen the response withing families can leave much to be desired. I'm not so sure that such claims within the family structure have changed all that much over the years.
I know there are mothers and fathers who do hear their children's claims of abuse but there are still many others that don't. Abuse is being reported more than ever before but that doesn't mean that it is being reported and successfully dealt with anywhere near the extent to which it is occurring.
The pressure within families to not rock the boat still is the driving force in most families where abuse occurs. Victims recant their stories because of the pressure applied within their families. Those victims find it easier to keep quiet and take the abuse than deal with the entire family turning against them. We need to find a way to address these issues.
All of these things may be true but they don't change the circumstances of this particular crime and others like it, there is NO excuse for such behavior. Just as casey stated in the comments Many of us have suffered and overcome terrible abuse in our lives...and yet we have not struck out at anyone..not even the perpetrators.
This was a cold blooded killing of 6 innocents...no matter how the press chooses to portray it.
In the dictionary there is a big difference between excuses and reasons.
By definition the noun excuse: a reason (sometimes false) for an action. Examples of excuse:
Failures always come up with a lot of excuses to explain why they can't succeed in life.
By definition the noun reason: cause; basis for action
Notice that there is no such example for reason. The reason behind people's actions, whatever it might be, does not always lead to failure. However, those who function always making excuses for their actions, many times end up as failures.
By definition the verb excuse: to forgive entirely or disregard as of trivial import
When the day comes that we as a society excuse (verb) people for crimes based on excuses (noun) of abuse. we will be in real trouble.The crime that was committed must never lose weight based on any kind of excuse because abuse does not justify murder or more abuse for that matter.
Our jails would be empty if abuse was a valid reason to excuse someone from their behavior. That would not make those people happy or guarantee they would not continue their lawless ways. The world would be pretty chaotic.
Granted the jails are full of angry people and some of those might have taken different roads had they never encountered abuse. However, it was still a conscious choice that they made to break the law. If we are to have any hopes of being a lawful society, people must be accountable for their behavior.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did