Tuesday, November 20, 2007

More Dialog with an Alter from Another System

I believe one of the ways that we multiples can help each other is through an open dialog about what is happening or has happened within our systems. While every system is different, there are commonalities in both the process that formed these systems and in the healing process.

Knowing what has worked or didn't work for one system can be useful information. For survivors of ritualistic abuse of satanism, it might also save others from falling into some of the booby traps that were placed during programming. Not to mention just knowing that others have had the same experiences along the way can be helpful in establishing connections in a world that feels unwelcoming.

With that being said, I began the dialog with an alter of another system in the post, Questions from an Alter of Another System The response from that alter is included in the comments on that post.

I'm going to continue dialog with my thoughts, feelings and maybe intuitions here in this post. Also, I think I'm going to follow her lead and refer to the alter we are discussing as (blank) and I am going to refer to the alter I am having the dialog with as A. Hopefully that will help with some of the confusion by differentiating between the alter, A who I am having this dialog with and (blank) who it is about.

First off, let me thank you, A, for continuing this dialog by leaving a comment here. As long as you feel safe with this, I will continue our conversation here. It has already expressed this dialog is useful to others and I believe it will continue to be so.

I'm not sure of the status of those who have commented on hidden blog. So your observation about concerns for (blank) being different between the multiples and singletons, I don't really know for sure. However, I have seen comments other places from some of the same people.

From that I would say I suspect that their comments are out of genuine concern for (blank). I see singletons trying to honor different alters wishes by treating each as separate individuals. Some alters are quite vehement about being recognized as such. So that might play a role in what you are detecting.

I know that all parts are important to the system. Each has a vital role even if those within the system itself don't recognize that fact. I don't know that people in general (some multiples and singletons alike) really understand that all of the parts were necessary for the system's survival.

While some may have bad behavior, they had a necessary role in the survival. And they may have behavior that is now detrimental to the system but they need to be retaught not disposed of. When all is said and done, they have a story to tell as well.

I see a tendency to judge an alter on her/his behavior and a belief that the system would be better off without some. (Blank) has touched people because she has reached out through her blog and asked for help. She appears to be kind and caring so she has developed some cyber friends.

My guess is most if not all of those friends are supportive of the system. They understand she is a part of a system through her posts. People see (blank) as their primary link to how your system is doing so I think they use her as the barometer. It's after all, all they know.

As they are exposed to other parts and get to know them, I expect understanding and concern for those parts too. ( except the dark ones, as you have seen. They are ready to take on any part they think might be harmful) As you have said they express concern in a crisis for others but so far (Blank) has been their primary connection. I think that would be the reason she appears to be their primary concern.

You say that one of the small ones made a connection with (Blank). If the result of that was to get that little some therapy, I doubt that is was engineered by the dark ones. That is the last thing they would want. Power against the dark ones comes from the rest joining forces to take control over them.

The goal of programming is to keep parts as isolated as possible to safeguard silence. Of course, that doesn't apply to dark ones. Joining the dark ones is a desired result during programming or even at a later date. Many times it can be accomplished with a simple programmed trigger that allows them to join. That gives them move power to reek havoc on the system if it's not responding like it should to programming.

I'm getting off track, I apologize for that. I have considerable knowledge about programming and it just spills out sometimes. But back to that little that has connected to (Blank), you said the little's time in therapy was spent mostly on building trust. If it was taking a long time to establish, that speaks to how traumatized this part is. I wonder if the flashes are coming from her (?)

Also, you expressed concern about (Blank) not letting the others in or acknowledging them. That makes me wonder if programming is deflecting things from her. She sure strikes me as someone who really wants to know. It doesn't make sense to me that she goes so far to even post on the internet and yet won't acknowledged other alters. Is it possible that others are blocking what you want her to know?

If that is the case, taking her out of play for a while would be playing right into their hands. That would not be a good thing. I know from experience such things can tip the system out of control. Is there a way you can find if someones deflecting information away from (Blank)? And if that little has a bigger bond with (Blank) than you think, could the little cause turmoil or deep depression if (Blank) is not accessible? Or could the little be more vulnerable with (Blank) not close to the front?

I know you are concerned about timing. Is the Dec date a concern? It sounds like you have buffers you can utilize to help you deal with troublesome dates but would that be affected if (Blank) is farther back.

I ask these questions only to suggest there might be variables within the system that might need to be considered before taking action. As you know, there is a balance there that it's important to maintain. Sometimes it can be unnerving what can cause a system to tilt.


Kahless said...

Hi Rainbow. Obviously I speak as a singleton and from that perspective.
You say
'I see singletons trying to honor different alters wishes by treating each as separate individuals.'

Interesting in that I am not sure what my approach is. I think the honest answer is sometimes I am not sure how to approach posts from different alters. I know I have concern and caring for the whole system. I know that also I am very very short in my understanding of DID / MPD. Sometimes I can get really worried that I am going to say something that will end up being a harmful comment to the system. And that is the last thing that I want to do.

But yes, I think I can treat different alters as separate individuals at times, through my lack of understanding.

Kahless said...

Hi Rainbow, hope you are doing ok.

Rising Rainbow said...

Hi Kahless, I am fine. I am just behind on posting with our Thanksgiving holiday here. I am going to try an answer your question about losing alters in my next post.

I did want to address your comment about treating alters as separate individuals instead of part of a whole though because I don't want you to think that you are doing anything wrong by doing so.

I probably should do a post on the subject of dealing with multiples because many are uneasy.

I have always read your comments as being caring and sometimes concerned. I don't think there is anyway you can cause harm with anyone with that. So keep up what you do, I believe you are a great support to those whose blogs you frequent.

Kahless said...

I am glad you are fine and thank-you for your comments.

I would love to read a post on the suject of interacting with multiples.

And I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Rising Rainbow said...

I just laughed at myself as I pushed the publish button and realized that I had used the fine. word. I am surprised that someone did not call me on the use of that word when I posted about my horse accident because it certainly applied then. I was by no means "fine." I was pretty badly hurt. But today I really am ok, I'm not nearly as sore and I'm looking forward to having my children and their families here with us today.

Although I have to say the house cleaning I must do to make this place even half way "presentable" is NOT my favorite thing. lol

Kahless said...

I remember that post now!