Wednesday, September 5, 2007

My Family of Origin Part 3

Part 1

One of my brothers has been estranged from the family since he was 18. His behavior has always been strange and I believe there are strong reasons to believe that he too is a multiple. I tried to contact him once but it was clear that he only knows a small piece of his past and in that I am one of his demons. I think it's sad but it can't be fixed unless he wants it and he doesn't.

The youngest brother, who is the one who still loves me, has been diagnosed as a multiple. But as soon as he was diagnosed he ran from therapy and has done nothing about healing ever since. Because he is a multiple, his memory is skewed. He has done drugs but swears he hasn't, that kind of stuff. It makes it tough to be close to him when he can't take responsibility for himself. But I love him and check in on him regularly to be sure that he's ok. We will never be close.

I know all the secrets that he is afraid to know. He knows about the secrets. He even believes that they are true but he doesn't want to know how it affects him. As long as he continues on that way, there is too much risk being around me so we just acknowledge each other on important dates and hope the other is well.

I wish that I could fix this for all of them. I wish my siblings could heal and know the peace that I know. But only they can make that decision and do the work and they chose to look the other way.

They would rather live in their toxic world than deal with the pain. If only they could realize that their toxicity causes more pain than the healing ever would. Things might be different, but they don't call it the "Road less travelled" for nothing. Few have the courage to take on their past.



4 comments:

Kat_womanx2 said...

Is MPD an inherited/genetic disorder, or is it something common in your family because of the similar traumas (certain types of abuse causing a specific problem) or possibly the fact that when one of you "escaped" to an alter identity to cope that the other siblings followed suit kind of as a remedy? I may not be using the proper terminology here...but I'm hoping you understand what I'm trying to say...I was just curious.

Rising Rainbow said...

kat_woman2, I think this is an interesting question that I will try and address in a post.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

God can only help those who help themselves!

I know from experience that you cannot help others...they have to be willing to do the work themselves. It only takes more out of you to take on their worries!

keepers said...

we know exactly of what you speak! in our family, our youngest brother has moved onward with therapy and is alcohol free for over 7 years now but the other brother and our sister are alcoholics and refuse to begin the healing process and still refuse to accept what happened to them. We only have contact now with the healing brother. It is what it must be for now.

peace and blessings

keepers