Friday, September 21, 2007

Just What Really Is "Our" Self? Part 2

Part 1

Even though we aren't in therapy anymore and we don't intend to work towards integration, we have changed a lot. Whether that change is a melding of personalities or the development of a new person, I don't have a clue and I doubt any professional could figure it out.

What I know for sure is I can touch an inner child at any time and feel the feelings of a child but I can temper those feelings before they ever reach the surface. And I can do it in a way that does not hurt or frighten the inner child. If anything, all the inner children are comfortable with the system the way it functions.

Inner conflicts are few and far between. Most of the time it can be downright boring after all of the commotion from the time during therapy. The walls that separate us from integrating stay firm because we just don't want to deal with anymore memories. All of us, even the one's who's memories have not been told believe that we have no more to gain by working through those old memories.

I think the reason that we can do this and live in harmony is because we have all accepted how bad the things we may not remember might be. We know first hand how horrible one person can be to another. We have seen human nature at its very worst. We know that while we may have participated in behavior that is totally against all values we hold dear, we would never have done so had we been given a choice.

We all believe that what is important is who we are today, not how we were thirty, forty or fifty years ago. We have forgiven ourselves for our transgressions whatever they might be. And we appreciate where we have come from. As long as we live our life today by the values we hold dear, we will continue to living in harmony.

To be continued..........

Part 3


April_optimist said...

I'm smiling at the way you seem to have found peace with who you are. So few people ever achieve that--multiple or not.

The importance of looking at the past is never, in my opinion/experience, the actual events, it's rewriting the messages we took in about ourselves and others and the world as a result of the experiences. If we can find another way to rewrite those messages then we don't need to remember events and details.

keepers said...

our major therapist of our therapy years was constantly doing abreactive work and since we got away from him we have grown and healed way more than we ever thought possible. We will never integrate, we are who we are, our JM loves us as we are, we are as you said, working it all out now.
Congratulations to you in your acceptance and comfort and knowledge of yourself for therein lies peace and comfort.

best wishes to you