Monday, March 8, 2010

My Own Questions for a Change..........

Someone recently wrote this comment that reflected my diagnosis. If you can seriously look at your self in the mirror and be okay with the one of many people looking back you then you have some serious issues. I posted the entire message on my private blog but I thought this attack against me by using my MPD or DID as a weapon needed to be addressed. I suspect there are those with a similar diagnosis who would be impacted dramatically by such an assault so I think it's important to examine what it's about.

As I read this statement for the first time I couldn't help but think what a cheap shot this was. Why would someone feel the need to do such a thing?

I also can't help but wonder can another person really feel better about themselves attacking someone like this? What is the purpose of such a statement? Does it really express her feelings or is it designed to make me look bad? Am I supposed to feel defective or somehow less than everyone else because of that reference?

It really makes me wonder.......... not about me, but about her.

I tend to treat others the way I would like to be treated although I do get stymied about how to respond to someone who has taken advantage of me or has been mean to me. Then I defer to not wanting to be an enabler. Holding people accountable for their behavior is the healthiest thing you can really do for them.

Obviously this person doesn't value the same things although masked in the rest of her writing it looked like she did. The use of that one sentence gave away her true character.

So I guess when I'm thinking about this statement and I'm trying to figure out what it means, I'm really trying to figure out what I'm supposed to "do" with it. How do I respond? Or do I respond?

It occurs to me that the statement represents people fighting dirty. Low blows are used to throw people off balance and give the other the upper hand. How do you deal with someone who fights dirty?

I find myself in the middle of a mess with my reputation being trashed and the information is based on untruths. This statement is part of that. I know you can't make people listen to the truth if they don't want to so what do I do with this kind of stuff?

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If you're wondering if I am offended by that statement, you're darn right I am! However, it is not because I feel wounded. I am offended that anyone would think poking fun at something as serious as MPD or DID is appropriate.

Putting my current dilemma aside, the most offensive part of her message was that statement. The intolerance of society towards mental illness and its surrounding issues really strikes a cord with me. It's hard enough for victims to recover without society taking pot shots at them. It's just not acceptable.

15 comments:

Astaryth said...

People who go around saying things just to be mean or bring others down -- especially if done anonymously -- are just cowards and usually have really low opinions of themselves and other personal issues.

My personal opinion? Sounds like a Troll, and my best advice? Don't feed the Trolls. If they don't get the attention they crave, they tend to move along :)

Rising Rainbow said...

Astaryth, no this was not a troll... a master manipulator maybe, but not a troll.

I received this as part of a personal message on FB complete with the person's name.

But you may be right about not feeding the situation. Sooner or later the truth will come out.

Grace said...

I had a mentor in my past who told me, "What's done in the dark, will come to light." Her words still resonate with me to this day, even though more than 11 years have passed since she first spoke them.

I have found that some will question that which they do not understand, and others, those (IMO) insecure ones...will not question, but rather speak untruths, or try to hurt someone.

I wish it were not the case. Although I would never wish "abuse" upon anyone, I do wish those who do not understand, and choose not to try to accept "us", would really know what it was like, how shattered we really are, and how hard we try to "live".

I'm sorry you felt this...

Kahless said...

I must admit since I read this comment on your other blog I have had to stop myself logging onto FB and writing a comment on your wall in response to this jerk. But I wont cos that wont help you.

Rising Rainbow said...

Kahless, Thanks for your support. It is greatly appreciated.

You are correct that posting on my wall won't help. I'm hoping that the people who see the things others are writing and saying will measure it against my behavior and realize really who is the culprit here.

In the meantime I could really use some thicker skin. This stuff hurts.

Cheesemeister said...

That the person who said this thing can look at themselves in the mirror is a wonder. They are the one who is not okay.

Cheesemeister said...

BTW, my skin is really not very thick at all, which is why I pulled the promotion of the book as Lily Strange. I'm still Lily Strange on Facebook if you ever feel you'd like to find me there. http://www.facebook.com/lily.strange
I'm still blogging, just not at the psychological sewer. Real or imagined, I started feeling attacked there. I do most of my psych blogging at http://bloomingpsychosfunhouse.blogspot.com
and general blogging at http://cheesemeisterandcrackers.blogspot.com

Ivory said...

Hi, first time I'm commenting. There might be another side to the harrassing stmt. I reacted this way for about 18 months after I was told thats what "it" was called. To hear Multiple Personalities was more than I could bear. I hated myself and everyone else like me. I'm wondering if the person who took that pot shot is a multiple and is desperatly in denial. BUT, she definately needs to be held accountable, I just don't know what should be done.

antivert said...

My first time commenting here.

It really makes me wonder.......... not about me, but about her.

Of course it should! I don't believe she's "trolling" or being a "master manipulator", but just being herself. She probably even feels she's helping you in some way, even though she's totally not.

People have their own issues, I just wanted to say that people can say bad things without malicious intent.

English Rider said...

There are people who believe that verbalizing a thought makes it a truth. They are wrong. The only antidote is to ignore them. They are outside the fence of reality, not you.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Yes, it sure puts awareness and anti-stigma back a bit, doesn't it? Myself, I believe that if any of us an look ourself(ves) in the mirror and be okay with ourselves, that's HUGE! Healthy and huge. Maybe this person just doesn't know what healthy looks like. Most probably, this person hasn't looked at their own pain and/or issues yet. When they do...Oh, boy! Look out! ;)

ER said...

I am new to the blogging world and wanted to find more support for coping with DID. I think your blog is great. I am hoping to maybe get some support in dealing with this disorder too. Maybe you wouldn't mind checking out my blog...

http://copingwithdid-mystory.blogspot.com/

If you feel it is inappropriate that I put my blog site just erase my comment.

April_optimist said...

I love your post because it shows you ARE willing to hold people accountable for what they say and do. And it shows you accept yourself--which is a huge part of healing. Good for you!!!

Rising Rainbow said...

Grace, I hope what your mentor said is true. I guess time will tell.

Cheesemesiter, Unfortunately people who manipulate the truth like this don't have problems looking in the mirror. They only see the world through their eyes and really don't care about anyone else's opinions or feelings for that matter.

thanks for the FB info. I will try and look Lily up.

Ivory, I doubt she has this diagnosis but she has had mental issues in the past. However, I know her well enough to know that this was mean spirited on her part.

antivert, thanks for your comment. I believe you could be right that some people don't intend to be mean.That's just not the case here.

While she may be trying to look like she's wanting to be helpful she's really trying to cover her own you know what.

English Rider, Thanks for the support.

Marj, you're so right about her issues. I've known her since she was a teenager and have seen plenty. I wish she would get some help but doubt that will happen.

ER, Thanks for commenting.

I hope you can find some peace with your diagnosis.

April, Good to see you and thanks for the support.

Donna said...

I'm sorry you were hurt by this insensitive and ignorant person. Telling anyone "you have real issues" is just plain rude, I don't care if they had good intentions or not. Unfortunately I think our histories make it difficult to have thick skin. We are here for you.