After talking on the phone with JIP, I promised I would fess up.....come clean............about my surgery. Not because I think you all want to know about my bum but because there really was a lesson in this whole thing.
So to start off I should mention that the procedure I had done was for hemorrhoids. And before you begin wondering how I might get a surgery done for hemorrhoids when I can't get myself back to the doctor about a breast exam, let me just say this problem with hemorrhoids has been going on for a much longer period of time than the lump issue.
I think I have been tolerating this condition for about 5 years because the first time I asked my doctor about them his response was to say that "they weren't that big" implying that I was some kind of a wimp for complaining in the first place. I allowed myself to be "shamed" into doing nothing about it despite all the pain I've been in but finally got the courage to confront the doctor about the hemorrhoids when I went back in to talk to him about the screwed up status of my ultrasound. I guess while I had the courage I was going to get everything solved at once.
I came with that appointment with referrals for this surgery, a re-do on the ultra sound and an appointment with a pulmonologist as well as a list of prescriptions (Including one for that darn EpiPen) to get me back on track.
The reason the surgery was taken care of first was because of the timing in relationship to my horse business..............yes, you should have known. What other motivation would have have? Well, besides the fact these things have been so painful they have been keeping me up at least 3 nights a week for a very, very long time.
The point of this post really was to admit that I'd allowed the doctor to intimidate me into believing I didn't need help when I really did. Maybe because I am uncomfortable with doctors in the first place, it didn't take much for me to back down.
The fact is the reason I am having problems recovering from this surgery is because my problem was so extensive. The surgeon's exact words, "There is extensive tissue to be removed." Those 5 years I didn't get help made this situation a whole lot more difficult than it needed to be and I'm paying for it now. I wish that doctor of mine could feel what it's like to sit on my b*tt right now. Maybe he'd get an accurate lesson about hemorrhoids. Unfortunately the only one paying for this is me. I hope I never sell myself short like that again. It's just sooooooooooo not worth it.