Monday, December 15, 2008

This one is for JIP

After talking on the phone with JIP, I promised I would fess up.....come clean............about my surgery. Not because I think you all want to know about my bum but because there really was a lesson in this whole thing.

So to start off I should mention that the procedure I had done was for hemorrhoids. And before you begin wondering how I might get a surgery done for hemorrhoids when I can't get myself back to the doctor about a breast exam, let me just say this problem with hemorrhoids has been going on for a much longer period of time than the lump issue.

I think I have been tolerating this condition for about 5 years because the first time I asked my doctor about them his response was to say that "they weren't that big" implying that I was some kind of a wimp for complaining in the first place. I allowed myself to be "shamed" into doing nothing about it despite all the pain I've been in but finally got the courage to confront the doctor about the hemorrhoids when I went back in to talk to him about the screwed up status of my ultrasound. I guess while I had the courage I was going to get everything solved at once.

I came with that appointment with referrals for this surgery, a re-do on the ultra sound and an appointment with a pulmonologist as well as a list of prescriptions (Including one for that darn EpiPen) to get me back on track.
The reason the surgery was taken care of first was because of the timing in relationship to my horse business..............yes, you should have known. What other motivation would have have? Well, besides the fact these things have been so painful they have been keeping me up at least 3 nights a week for a very, very long time.

The point of this post really was to admit that I'd allowed the doctor to intimidate me into believing I didn't need help when I really did. Maybe because I am uncomfortable with doctors in the first place, it didn't take much for me to back down.

The fact is the reason I am having problems recovering from this surgery is because my problem was so extensive. The surgeon's exact words, "There is extensive tissue to be removed." Those 5 years I didn't get help made this situation a whole lot more difficult than it needed to be and I'm paying for it now. I wish that doctor of mine could feel what it's like to sit on my b*tt right now. Maybe he'd get an accurate lesson about hemorrhoids. Unfortunately the only one paying for this is me. I hope I never sell myself short like that again. It's just sooooooooooo not worth it.


Enola said...

okay okay, you convinced me. I'll go have my hemoroids checked. (sigh) Pregnancy didn't help. Why is it I'll lie there with feet in stirrups and not ask them to check the hemorids? I had a doctor (male) tell me, "ahh it's normal to have them. Now I can check them for you....if you REALLY want me too." Blech. No thanks. that was 3 years ago I think....

Glad you are recovering.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

I am so glad that you got help for yourself! I am tired of doctors telling us it's no big deal. We know our bodies and I wish they would start listening to us!

Rising Rainbow said...

enola, the point is it's not the size according to someone else that is how much discomfort they are causing you. If they are affecting your life because of pain and discomfort, then they need to be dealt with. The longer they are let go, the more miserable the recovery will be as well........and believe me, you don't want it to be any worse than it has to be. I am one tough cookie and don't complain about much but this has been a real test.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Yeah, I had the little skin cancer surgery done this summer...but I still can't get myself to get into the dentist when I know I need some work.

Best wishes with your healing.

Hey, would you be most kind and submit something to THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE? I really don't want to see it die. Thanks!

Kahless said...

I must admit I did wonder what your surgery was, but didnt like to ask.

With Crohns, I have lost count of the number of times a doctor has shoved their hands or other instruments up my arse.

Not nice so I sympathise. Glad you ended your suffering.

jumpinginpuddles said...

we know how painful it cna be not just the haemerroids but the whole emotional flahsback memory stuff associated with tta part of the body being exposed, but we are so happy that you will be ableo to soon get back on your horses without your butt burning in pain.

Ethereal Highway said...

I'm so glad to know what was the problem. I was kind of worried that it might be something really, really bad. I'm glad you had it taken care of. It sure sounds like it caused an awful lot of pain.