Well, the new year has arrived and it feels much the same as yesterday. It's always seemed funny to me that people can put such stock in the flip of a page on a calendar.
I understand the concept of new beginnings and such. I think the motivation behind those thoughts are admirable. But the facts are they are only thoughts. Many people never get past the romanticism long enough to get into some real actions.
For me, I tend to look at such events as new years, anniversaries and birthdays, just as another measure of time. Since I'm the type of person who seems to lose track of time (not the same as loosing time lol) it's good for me to have a frame of reference that a week or a month has gone by.
Otherwise time just seems to race by and I haven't a clue how much has really passed. That can cause problems with actually getting some things done. I do ok with the day to day stuff but bigger projects can get pushed right up to the wire or missed altogether.
Having particular dates to remind me, helps to but that passage of time into a more accurate perspective. It can help me so I don't miss important deadlines or push a project right up to the last minute because I lost track of time.
To help me with the things I would like to accomplish this year, I have to work at putting them into some kind of chronological reference. Knowing what obstacles I might need to overcome will also help decide what kind of steps I take in this journey and how timing should be employed.
For example, before I can get going on my book, I have to dig out the boxes that have all of my journals, artwork and notes in them. That in and off itself is going to be a big project that I have already started. What helps to keep me focused on that project is the fact it leads to being able to start the one I really want to get going.
Parts of me are dreading working on my book. Doing so is bound to bring up more memories and other painful stuff. But we've already decided that the timing for this is now. My mother died last Valentine's Day and we knew that would bring with it lots of junk. So instead of being afraid of it, we've embraced the opportunity to work this through for once and for all.
So for me, New Year's Day reminds me that Valentine's Day will not be far behind. Since that will be the one year anniversary of our mother's death, we can think of no more perfect way to celebrate than to bring those old boxes out into the open and be ready to work on our book.
Working on this blog has been another way to deal with my mother's death. It's given me the opportunity to start out slowly in reopening these old wounds of mine and to get myself acclimated to processing this kind of work again.
I think the work I have done on the blog thus far has gotten me to that place where I am ready to tackle the book. Daily posting here will keep me focused on my goal and bring me some support when I need it.
I'm really looking forward to putting my mother into her final perspective with my system. I'll be finishing off whatever illusions might be left and tying up lots of loose end and hopefully, I'll be contributing a helpful reference for victims of ritual abuse and satanism.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did