I can get pretty passionate about things from time to time. I have strong feelings about some things and am not really afraid to let anyone know about them. It gets me into trouble sometimes but I guess that's the way it goes. I believe that the only way the world can get to be a better place is by talking about the bad stuff that has happened.
One of the things I am most passionate about (besides Arabian horses lol) is the treatment of victims. I believe that the way the world is going to become a better place is by healing victims. Victims who are brave enough to seek help need to be able to count on that help. I have no time for 'bad' therapists!
A while back I wrote a post More Questions from Jumpinginpuddles in which I answered some questions from Amelia, one of the alters from the jumpinginpuddles system. The gist of the post was about Amelia having issues with the therapist when others in the system didn't and how it affected the entire system.
A comment from Lynn of Spilling Ink in Public was related to her What's Eating Me: Part Two My response to her post and to her comment on my post are both the same. I just want to protect her! I want to shield her from the pain she is experiencing because of an inappropriate response from her therapist. I want to find her a REAL therapist. AND I want to see that therapist lose his license! That's right, his license.
Ever since I read her post, I have wanted to respond to this situation but I needed some time to put my thoughts in order. This is such a serious subject that I didn't want to mess it up. Having been through the experience of a therapist's mistake almost killing me, I believe I've come to a place where I can now recognize a sick therapeutic relationship.
Unlike the relationship with the jumpinginpuddles system, Lynn's problem with her therapist is not a communication error between one alter in a system and a kind, caring and supportive therapist. Lynn is NOT so fortunate. "He told me that I was projecting my feelings about the rape onto my house and that if I could not live in the present moment, then I should find a psychiatrist so I could be medicated." Does this sound like a supportive therapist to you?
I think any caring therapist can make a mistake from time to time but in Lynn's case, I don't think this IS that kind of mistake! What happened to Lynn has to do with that therapist's values! And those values are opposed to all that healthy therapy is about! Any therapist that tells a victim anything that that translates to "now you know you're a victim, put it behind you and move on" isn't worth his/her weight in salt! Useless comes to mind for me.
All of the books, all of the conferences, all of the experts teach that a victim needs to deal with those feelings, NOT STUFF THEM! The very thought that this so called therapist suggested that she take drugs to just get it gone makes me want to scream. This is NOT therapeutic advice! It is destructive! It is toxic! It is so polluted with his own issues that there is no way it can be helpful!
I have been incensed by the inappropriateness of her therapist's response to Lynn. Then to see her comment on how she has protected herself even more because of his treatment, just infuriates me. Victims have a hard enough time healing without being victimized by their therapists!! Lynn's response to this treatment is typical victim behavior. She was victimized again and she's going to protect herself.
That is what happened to Lynn. She took the risk. Trusted the therapist with her deep dark secrets. He set her up wearing his therapist mask, promising to give her special care because of the circumstances. Then he pulled the rug right out from underneath her. Instead of giving her the support he promised, he punished her for trusting him. In that brief instant he dropped his mask and showed her his true colors. He showed her the unfeeling person that he really is. He humiliated her and he made her feel even more damaged than she already felt. He basically told her that her feelings were unimportant and that she was somehow crazy because she couldn't put it behind her.
With her history there was absolutely nothing unusual about the issues Lynn was experiencing. Triggering off of current things in her life, I think ALL of us victims do that! And we heal from it if some one caring helps us through those experiences. But to have a "fake" therapist do what Lynn's did, would be like a surgeon cutting you open and then just walking off and going home. The surgeon would get sued! This therapist is just as guilty of malpractice as any surgeon would be!
The therapeutic relationship has been so compromised by his inappropriate behavior, there is no way that Lynn can heal under his care. She has that "little voice" that he added screaming in the back of her head somewhere. If he really were concerned about Lynn and taking responsibility for his error, I think he would have found her a good replacement therapist so that Lynn had some chance of healing from what HE did to her and her other issues.
The very fact he thinks an apology can "fix" his transgression, tells me that he knows nothing about victims and what is healthy treatment for them. If he doesn't understand that he is not qualified to be treating Lynn or any other victim. My guess is Lynn is not the only one who has been damaged by this man.
Obviously I cannot fix this for Lynn but I can bring the subject up here and open it up for discussion. Victims being damaged by incompetent therapists is much too common. The only way that victims are going to know what is inappropriate behavior for a therapist is for situations just like this to be discussed. There is a fine line between being hooked by our own issues and being treated badly by a professional. I believe this situation is a clear case of the latter. Lynn's therapist really blew it. And Lynn is paying the price.
multiple personality disorder MPD dissociative Identity disorder did