Saturday, November 17, 2007

Human Nature with All It's Twists and Turns - Part 4

Part 1

I think the most overwhelming evidence I have seen across the years about whether or not a multiple should be held accountable for their behavior or not comes down to the overall behavior of the multiple. Those that are not guilty are the ones screaming the loudest that they are. Those that are guilty are the ones protesting their innocence.

I don't know if that makes sense to someone who doesn't make a study of human behavior. For me learning all the subtle and not so subtle cues identifying the bad guys has been part of my healing process. I have come to find this measure is pretty darn reliable.

The things that I have learned about those "takers" are the same whether singleton or multiple. They are constantly grooming themselves and those around them to see things their way. Part of that grooming includes pointing the finger away from them and off in another direction. It, whatever it might be, is always someone else's fault.A lot of attention is devoted to portraying themselves as victims. To their way of seeing life, everything that goes wrong is beyond their control. That is why you'll see rapists and child molesters claiming it was consensual or that the victim asked for it. It's just another part of the way they groom themselves so they don't have to live with guilt. Why feel guilt when they have done nothing wrong, in their eyes anyway.

For the criminal justice system the complexity in that comes because an innocent person will usually protest their innocence. However, if you look closely at the guilty party claiming to be innocent there is a trail of behavior that speaks to their manipulations. That is why police officers need to be careful and not get to that cynical stage where they no longer believe in innocence. The only way an innocent person can be found amongst the guilty is by very close attention to the most minute of details.

But back to the signs that tell whether a person is truly a victim, the person who is a real victim is always taking credit for things beyond their control. You can count on the victim to be the one who feels guilty. Part of victim behavior is taking on the responsibility of the offender. The victim will hide away in shame. Convinced that somehow it must be her/his fault.

There have been criminal cases where a person with multiple personality disorder (or dissociative identity disorder) is prosecuted. The defense lawyers argue that the person shouldn't be held accountable because that would be punishing all the parts when only the bad part did the deed.

I have to say that makes me crazy! I don't mean it makes me certifiable because I'm not, I'm about as sane as anyone you'll meet. But it just torks me off because it makes all of us multiples look bad. We are not anymore crazy than any other section of the population. Many of us are just like me, you would never have know if I hadn't told you.

AND I have my opinions about those multiples using that defense. I think they are just like all the other crooks, killers and rapists etc in the world, just using their diagnosis as an excuse to NOT be responsible for their behavior.

I read a book about one of those cases and it really made me sick. With all of the talk about the different personalities and what they were like, I still saw offender plastered all over this guys behavior. The core personality was a weak whiner too frail to deal with his behavior. The others each had plenty of attitude that said they were not to blame. But there were no parts who felt shame or guilt. The entire system supported the behavior of an offender.

The same was true for the woman multiple who was in my support group so many years ago. Once the cobwebs got cleared and the offences were out in the open, the true behavior became easier and easier to see. The only time she felt guilt was to get sympathy that it really wasn't her fault. There was not a sincere ounce of guilt at all.

I hope this has been understandable because I think it's really important information. To heal, those who are victims need to put the responsibility where it belongs and take it off their own shoulders. And for offenders to heal, they must first be able to take responsibility for their actions with all the appropriate feelings and stages that requires. And frankly, that is why treating offenders is so difficult and rarely successful. They are master manipulators with no empathy, getting them to accept they have harmed another, let alone they damage that they have done is next to impossible.


Cheesemeister said...

Sounds like the guy would have been a sociopath whether or not he was a multiple. From what I've observed, most systems will stop the one "bad apple" from committing truly horrific crimes. Perhaps the guy should be in a psych unit rather than in jail but it doesn't sound like he should be among other people. I'm actually sort of surprised to hear about this because it seems that it's very rare for multiples to be violent criminals even if there is a very negative personality in the bunch. Although this idea seems to be used a lot in fiction it does not seem to be the truth.

jumpinginpuddles said...

we have been reading but we dont knpow what to say after all sam was an enforcer/abuser so i guess that means we are one of the ones you are talking about so its kind of hard to comment i guess.

jumpinginpuddles said...

although i would like to add now that we have gone away and thought about what rising has said, the differencxe between a system who accept an alters abuse and those who dont are ones who say we need to change this behanviour or lock the alter up.
I think what rising is saying is a system who accepts this alters behaviour as normal and ok are equally to blame, those whose systems fight those who want to hurt are those who i believe should be given a chance to be listenend to.
Freedom is only gained through evne one alters non acceptance of anotehr alters abuse, in our case we chose to not accept sams behaviour once it was very cleanr what she ahd been doing.
I dont believe a system can be hung out to dry if they do not know what another alter is doing but i agree should face punishment if they find out about it and let it continue regardless.

Rising Rainbow said...

Geez, I did an answer to these and blogger ate it, so I guess I'll try again.

cheesemeister, yes, you are absolutely right, this guy would have been a criminal anyway. That was the point. It was in his make up as an individual to be a criminal.

And you are also right that criminal violent multiples are rare. Reading across the entire series, my point was that most multiples are not responsible. They have been manipulated by others if they have done bad things.

Jumpinginpuddles, I absolutely was NOT talking about you in this post. There is no way that I believe that free will was involved in the acts that sam performed. She was totally manipulated by the cult.

I have tried to explain at the start of this series how that could happen. How the cult could take a sweet innocent child and manipulate her/him in such a way to create an alter or group of alters that would do their bidding.

Your second comment is more on target. The system who accepts the behavior or makes excuses for it, is probably the one who should be held responsible.

Those multiples are few and far between.

The ones like you who have good hearts are the ones that have been manipulated and NEVER, Never, would have done such things on their own. This latter group is the one most multiples fall into.

Rising Rainbow said...

I am sorry that there is confusion about this. I tried so hard to make the differences clear. I don't want to cause anyone unnecessary pain. The point of this series was to show how a multiple could be exploited in such a way that alters could be created to do things totally against their nature.

It was only as a point of clarification, that I wanted people to understand that it is possible to have that RARE occurence of a multiple who has a criminal mind.

I spent the last two whole segments trying to explain that this was possible because it is such an unusual and complicated thing. Having encountered one such multiple, I felt it was necessary to let people know it was possible for that criminal mind to exist.

Again, I am sorry for any confusion. If this is not going to be helpful for people to see the difference, I will remove these posts. I DO NOT want to have any multiple who is dealing with guilt to believe that I am saying they are guilty because I am NOT!! I do not and will never believe that and I don't want them to believe they are guilt either.

jumpinginpuddles said...

hey its ok like we said once we went away and thought about it and didnt respond instantly was the moment was saw what ytou were writing.
you are doing really well and we certainly appreciate everything yuou write.


Anonymous said...

I know that you are not saying that they are guilty Rainbow. Please continue to write your posts as it is helping me to understand more as best I can.

In fact I do have loads of questions which I am guessing you'll be kind to answer some of them, so when I'm more up to it I will list them if you don't mind!

p.s. And yes, JIP you have a good heart.

Rising Rainbow said...

kahless, if you have questions, that will be great. I will answer what I can, just let me know when you're ready.

Lady in red said...

I am finding reading both yo and JIP a real education about a subject Iw as previously so unaware of. I am slowly beginning to understand now thanks to you.