Friday, May 14, 2010

Guilt

What is it about guilt that it is born by the not guilty and shunned by the guilty? It doesn't seem logical that victims willingly take on the guilt of the offenders and yet they do. After lots of therapy it's now obvious to me that offenders are more than willing to shove their guilt onto their victims. Offenders do not claim guilt in any fashion. If they do it's only a ruse to throw people off track, it is not truly born.

I certainly carried plenty of guilt in my lifetime. Buckling under it's weight I still pushed on trying to be "good enough" to make up for sins that weren't even mine in the first place. I remember how liberating it was when I realized that most guilt was not MINE to bear. I was really not 'bad" after all.

Still it's easy to feel guilt for reasons that are not logical or even accurate. I don't know if it's just because it's something I'm used to doing or some urge of all humans, or maybe I should say MOST humans, to assume guilt for anything that goes wrong or feels bad.
Clearly not all people are saddled with guilt. If they were, people couldn't do to one another what they do. The weight of guilt would prohibit such behavior.

It's those people who are unaffected by guilt that reek all kinds of havoc. Those people don't assume responsibility for their actions so they aren't saddled with the appropriate guilt. They always have some kind of excuse, some one else to blame. This enables some pretty bad behavior to be perputrated on others. Most times it is the victims of that behavior who will step right up to claim the guilt that should belong to the offender.

It is a trap forged in the darkness. Anyone who doubts the presence of evil needs to just look around to see this sinister plan. Guilt misused in this manner keeps good people down and bad people in control. The shame of guilt causes victims to quietly hide what they believe are their transgressions while the offenders go free to do further harm.

Keeping those secrets only aids in keeping victims bound by the chains of guilt they have assumed for the offender by beating victims down into an abyss of darkness, depression and self loathing. It's only by speaking out and exposing those secrets to the light of day, that guilt can be released from victims of its weight. While that guilt may not be transferred to the offender where it belongs at least the offender's behavior will be exposed so others might be warned of the dangers of the pathology of their behavior.

Once again we are down to darkness and light. So many things in life are healed by light. The winter blues melt in the sunlight taking the darkness of depression away. This dark plot to keep people victims lifts when secrets are exposed to the light of truth. The evil that keeps victims trapped cannot withstand the truth that wrongdoers shed their guilt at the expense of their victims. Victims who are taught to recognize this behavior can be finally liberated by its truth.

So why is it that we victims do not ourselves see this plot in the making? Why do we so willing step up and take responsiblity for things that are not ours to claim? Why can't we see that those claiming to be guiltless are USUALLY the most guilty of all?

4 comments:

Ivory said...

Great thot provoking post. Maybe we carry the guilt because it is the only "explaination" or rationalization we can justify our own behavior with. It seems that as I grew older, and wiser, I kept going back to those memories and I instantly saw MY mistakes, i.e. I shouldn't have gone there, I should have run away - sooner, I could have screamed, for Pete's sake i should have told my parents. Well, it's not fair for me to revisit those memories of a child, as an adult. Just not fair to the child. It took me a long time to understand that the child did everything she could do. I, on the other had would have done things a bit different, but then, of course I'm bigger now, stronger now, smarter now. AND I'm not willing to carry the blame anymore.

TinaM said...

Great post.

Do you think the reasons are because the victim can't really believe/understand that someone could be so evil? That someone would inflict this pain for no reason?

Maybe the victim takes on the guilt so easily because it makes more sense that "I must have done something wrong/or I deserve this." Than to actually accept the truth: that there is evil without reason... or that someone who was supposed to love and protect- doesn't... Maybe that's just to much for some to accept? Especially young victims...

Rising Rainbow said...

Ivory, hindsight is always 20/20 whether we're an adult or a child so it's easy to second guess ourselves about what we "should" have done. Regardless of our mistakes, we still are not responsible for being victimized. I'm glad that you aren't willing to carry that blame anymore.

TinaM, I think your thoughts are on the right track. I suspect that it's about wanting to feel like we're in control even though we aren't.

jumpinginpuddles said...

usuaully guitly people like to organise guilt according to catergories like hes worse than me so its ok